The Fashion Club
by Lunar Shinra
Summary: My humorously insane fanfic about random anime and rpg female characters starting a fashion club. Sex, violence, cursing... Don't read this if you can't take a joke.
1. The "First" Fight

  
Anime and RPGS  
The Fashion Club  
Chapter I. The "First" Fight  
By: DaVe AkA LUnAr (Lunar Shinra)  
Last Update: 5/21/01  
  
  
*Disclaimer* I own none of these characters! And this fanfic was not  
meant to insult anyone! So please no flames! It was only meant as   
humor!  
  
President: Queen Brahne - Final Fantasy IX  
Vice President: Kuja - Final Fantasy IX  
  
Members:   
Rinoa Heartilly - Final Fantasy VIII  
Celine Jules - Star Ocean 2  
Asuka Langley Soryu - Evangelion  
Ayanami Rei - Evangelion  
Lara Croft - Tombraider 3  
Bra - Dragonball Z-GT  
  
Note: I know Asuka does not ALWAYS wear her school uniform! I was  
just purposely trying to give her the impression of a schoolgirl  
type. - cough - Does Britney Spears come in mind?  
  
  
Day 1. General Meeting  
Setting: Lara's house  
  
Lara: "How the hell did Brahne become the president when she's ugly  
as sin?"  
  
Brahne: "Excuse me!? I have INNER beauty. Unlike you slut! The only  
man you could get is your butler! Get a door for your room damnit!"  
  
Butler: ::passes by moaning:: "Uh...uh..."  
  
Lara: "Well, unlike yours mine are REAL!"  
  
Brahne: "Yea yet they get bigger everyday!"  
  
Lara: "Your stomach gets bigger everyday!"  
  
Asuka: ::wearing the stupid school uniform she always wears::  
  
Rinoa: ::wearing the same blue outfit she wore everyday for years::  
  
Celine: ::wearing a cheap shower curtain::  
  
Kuja: ::wearing a skirt with black make up::  
  
Bra: ::wearing the red leather outfit as usual::  
  
Rei: ::naked:: ...  
  
Asuka: "Why is Kuja in the club if he's a guy?"  
  
Kuja: "Coz I'm waaay better looking than all of you! ::whips his hair  
back::"  
  
Brahne: "Rei! How many times have I told you our main objective is  
CLOTHES! So start wearing some!"  
  
Rei: ...  
  
Rinoa: "Hey did anyone notice my new shirt! It really IS new! It's just  
I bought a new pair of the same thing cuz I trust my judgement so well  
I don't wanna buy cheap clothing of a different brand."  
  
Lara: "Weird how Bra buys so much clothes but always wears the same  
thing..."  
  
  
Day 2. Objective: Umino - Sailor Moon  
Setting: Sailor Moon's school  
  
Asuka: "We seriously need to give some more makeovers... we've been  
fading away from the public lately..."  
  
Rei: ::naked:: ...  
  
Umino walks to them: "Hidey ho!"  
  
Asuka: "HOE!? ... HEY! You would do great!"  
  
Umino gets dragged into a dark closet.  
  
Kuja: "Oh my! What a pitiful disgrace for a male!"  
  
Lara: "Hypocrite..."  
  
Kuja: "Ok I got the perfect idea!"  
  
1) First they give him a petticure and paint his toes black.  
2) They dye his hair dirty blonde and curl it.  
3) Add a pink bow on the head and a spiked collar around his neck.  
4) Gave him triangle shaped glasses with swirls that go the opposite  
direction.  
  
Kuja: "Hmm... and now we just add a silver gown with a leather   
jacket and leather green boots!"  
  
Umino runs to show off to Naru.  
  
Naru: "OH MY ******* GOD!!!!"  
  
Kuja: "Another job well done!"  
  
  
Day 3. Objective: Standards  
  
Kuja: "Alright! Here are the standards for recruits so far!"  
  
Brahne: ::Sitting there lazily, allowing Kuja to do everything cuz   
she's too fat too move. Just fans herself.::  
  
Standards:  
1. Must have long hair upto shoulders.  
2. Must be female.  
3. Must weigh under 400000 lbs.  
4. Must wear clothes.  
5. Must wear make up.  
  
Kuja: "Alright! Everyone gets a paper and they write suggestions for  
new standards!"  
  
Rei: ...  
  
Brahne: Must weigh under 900000000 lbs not 40000.  
  
  
Day 4. Objective: New president  
  
Brahne has been sent to the hospital because of overweight.  
  
Brahne: ::crying:: "NOO! I've become... UGLY!" ::dies after she used  
up all her energy from lifting her lips to talk::  
  
Kuja: "Alright we need a new president! It should be me!"  
  
Asuka: "WHAT!? I'm the best looking!"  
  
Celine: "EXCUSE ME!? I'M THE BIGGEST SLUT SO I SHOULD BE PRESIDENT!"  
  
Lara: "I'M the biggest slut sister!"  
  
Celine: "No, I am!"  
  
Lara: "I am!"  
  
They continue their arguement like that...  
  
Asuka: "At least I don't wear household items!"  
  
Celine: "You've been wearing that school uniform everyday you homeless!  
You have no fashion!"  
  
Kuja sits in his chair with his legs crossed tapping his fingers   
arrogantly.  
  
Rinoa: "I should be president because unlike you people I'm the only  
one with a guy! TWO GUYS actually!"  
  
Lara: "HEY! I have my butler and he gives me all the love I need!"  
  
  
Day 5. Objective: Getting a guy to increase their popularity  
  
Kuja and Zidane are in a coffe house. Kuja's treat.  
  
Zidane: ::drinking his coffee like a rude animal:: SLURP! BUURP!  
  
Kuja: ::folds his hands and rests his chin on it, smiling::  
"Um... Zidane... I was just wondering... about us..."  
  
Zidane: SLURP!  
  
Kuja: ::pulls his hair back with his long black nails:: "You know...  
we've known each other for quite a while... and we have had fun...  
right?"  
  
Waitress passing by spills boiling coffee on Kuja.  
  
Kuja: "EEEK! My new dress! ::runs to bathroom::"  
  
  
Rinoa and Zell are standing in front of a hotdog stand in the streets.  
  
Rinoa: "Oh Zell... thank you so much for asking me out... I've never  
had so much fun!"  
  
Zell: "Actually... you just stalked me..."  
  
Rinoa: "Hey Zell... since you're the only guy in the game without  
a girl... ::puts his hand on his shoulder:: Squall won't blame you...  
I'm just too irresistable..."  
  
Zell: "You got ketchup on your only shirt..."  
  
Rinoa: "NNNNNNOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!"  
  
  
Asuka and Shinji are at a noodle shop.  
  
Shinji: "Asuka... since when did you get so nice?"  
  
Asuka: "EXCUSE ME!? I was always nice so don't give me that crap!"  
  
Asuka storms out leaving Shinji with the bill.  
  
Rei walks in naked: ....  
  
Shinji: ::drops his chopsticks::  
  
  
Celine and Claude are in Rena's house.  
  
Celine: "Claude! Wanna check out what's under my shower curtain?"  
  
Rena: "CELINE!" ::throws Celine out into the pond::  
  
  
Bra and Gohten are in a movies place.  
  
Bra: "..."  
  
Gohten: "..."  
  
Bra: "That does it! I'm going shopping! ::runs off::"  
  
  
Lara's spending quality time with her butler.  
  
Butler: "Uh... uh... ho... ho..."  
  
  
To Be Continued.  
  
  
  



	2. The Gundam Wing Saga

  
Anime and RPGS  
The Fashion Club  
Chapter II. The Gundam Wing Saga  
By: DaVe AkA LUnAr (Lunar Shinra)  
Last Update: 6/24/01  
  
  
Day 6. Objective: Heero Yuy  
Setting: Celine's house  
  
Lara: ::starts rubbing herself with the photos while rolling on the  
floor:: Mmm... he's so sexy!  
  
Celine: ::staring into the pictures:: I'm like... soooo turned  
on...  
  
Kuja: ::is making out with the picture::  
  
Asuka: Whatever! I mean his show is like a ripoff of mine! Evas  
rule and Gundams drool!  
  
Rei: ::naked:: ...  
  
Rinoa: Oh puh-lease! He's a 2d character! He's not even real!  
  
Everyone but Rinoa: Uh-huh...  
  
Kuja: ::slobbering:: He's mine! I've GOT to have him!!  
  
Lara: Excuse me! But you'll have to get through THESE first! ::points  
to her boobs::  
  
Asuka: Phsh! Whatever! C'mon Rei! Let's go shopping at the School  
Uniform store!  
  
Rei: ::naked and just sits there:: ...  
  
Asuka: Fine! I'll go alone! ::storms off::  
  
Next Day  
Setting: Outer Space  
  
Zechs and Heero are battling in outer space. They're both babbling  
about peace.  
  
Zechs: My goal is true peace! And to destroy those that are the  
cause of wars!  
  
Heero: Doing such will only lead to more hatred and wars! Don't  
you see!? Blablablablablablablablablabla!  
  
Celine, Kuja, Lara, Bra appear floating in a tiny space pod about  
the size of the cargo room in a Gundam.  
  
Celine: Hey Heero! Down here!  
  
Lara: Hey Heero! Can you hear us!?  
  
They all begin yelling Heero's name as the two battle not noticing.  
  
Relena on Earth decides to stupidly stand on a rock, cry out for  
Heero in space for no reason and expects him to come to her.  
  
Relena: HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH  
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRR  
RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO  
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
The whole Universe shakes.  
  
Celine: Ack! That hideous noise!!!  
  
Zechs: My ears! I'm death!  
  
Heero: ACK!   
  
While Heero is distracted Zechs takes this opportunity to swing at  
him cutting the head part off and Heero go bye bye.  
  
Kuja: Let's retreat for now!  
  
The Fashion Club fly back to Expel.  
  
  
Day 7. Objective: Revenge on Relena :)  
Setting: Cafe in School Uniform mall.  
  
The School Uniform Mall has seven floors with fourty stores in total  
to saitisfy all your school uniform needs. o.O  
  
Asuka: ::has like a whole bunch of bags filled with school uniforms::  
  
Celine: Looks like you've been doing a lot of shopping...  
  
Asuka: See! I told you that Heero Yuy was a fool!  
  
Kuja: Yea but still...  
  
Lara, Celine, Kuja and Bra sigh dreamingly.  
  
Asuka: HE'S DEAD! GET OVER IT!  
  
Rinoa: And he was never real to begin with!  
  
Rei: ::naked behind a HUGE banna sundae which she hasn't even touched::  
  
Lara: May I have that...? ::quickly grabs it and tucks it down her  
shirt before anyone can see::  
  
Bra: Grr... if only it hadn't been for that stupid Relena Peace of  
Crap!  
  
Celine: Yea! I say we kill her!  
  
They go to Relena's birthday party. Relena turns 83 today which is not  
technically possible. o.O;  
  
Relena: ::old and exhausted sitting in a wheelchair:: I would like  
to thank all my friends and family who have always been there for   
me...  
  
Random guest: ::picking on Relena's bad hearing:: Shut up ya old hag!  
You're already 83! Why won't ya just die!?  
  
Relena: Anyway... Being that I am the queen...   
  
Another random guest: Screw you b*tch! You call yourself a queen!?  
  
Another random guest: Yea! You're supposed to be speaking for the  
people! Don't you realize we want a war!? Screw your retarded ideas  
of pacifism! Let's all bomb the colonies!  
  
Everyone: YEA!  
  
All the guests leave, leaving Relena all alone.  
  
Relena: ::blind:: Thank you everyone! But please calm down. Anyway...  
::takes out a scroll of paper and begins reading a speech::  
  
A colony hurls into Earth and crashes onto Relena and she goes bye  
bye :).  
  
Relena: No!! I'm too young and beautiful to die!  
  
Celine: So much for that...  
  
Lara: I think our plan would have been more fancy...  
  
Bra: Oh well so much for the overdose mental pills we put in her cake.  
  
The guests all come back and start eating the cake.  
  
Lara: Uh-oh... let's get outta here!  
  
The fashion club runs.  
  
  
To Be Continued...  



	3. The Tenchi Muyo! Saga

  
Anime and RPGS  
The Fashion Club  
Chapter III. The Tenchi Muyo! Saga  
By: DaVe AkA LUnAr (Lunar Shinra)  
Last Update: 6/24/01  
  
  
Day 8. Objective: Allies!  
Setting: Lara's house  
  
Kuja: Hmm... look at this! It seems this Tenchi Masaki guy has a lot  
of hoes...  
  
Celine: Ew... he's not even cute!  
  
Asuka: Looks like a clueless idiot to me.  
  
Lara: Ooo... but his father is so cute and naughty!  
  
Celine: But then again I wouldn't mind going out with him... that  
ponytail makes him look so sexy... You know what that reminds me of...  
  
Kuja: Hey! You're right! I say we move in with this Tenchi dude since  
he already has enough hoes. We can be like sister hoes!  
  
Lara: Yea! And then it would be like we have more club members!  
  
Rei: ::naked:: ...  
  
  
Day 8. Objective: Roomies!  
Setting: Oakayama  
  
Ryoko and Ayeka are fighting over Tenchi as a space pod crashes  
next to them squashing Tenchi.  
  
Tenchi: x.x;;  
  
Ryoko: Tenchi!  
  
Ayeka: This is all your fault!  
  
Tenchi slowly crawls out and stands up.   
  
The pod's door slams open knocking Tenchi out of the way.  
  
Kuja: ::stepping out:: How nice of you to come and greet us!  
  
Ayeka: Who the hell are you???  
  
Kuja: Allow me to introduce myself!  
  
Celine: ::inside the pod:: Kuja! Would you move away from the door  
so we can get out!? It's getting very hard to breathe in here!!  
  
Kuja gets pushes out of the way as the other members flood out of  
the pod.  
  
The house is now so overcrowded that they needed Washu to link some  
doors to other different demensions to create enough rooms.  
  
  
Day 9. No Need for Seperate baths!  
Setting: Masaki House  
  
Ayeka: There is no way Kuja is going into the woman's bath!  
  
Kuja: But I'm more girl than guy!!  
  
Ayeka: I doubt you are in THAT area! ::points to Kuja's crotch::  
  
Ryoko: Let me check! ::slides his hand down Kuja's thong:: Hey!  
There's nothing there!!! It's... so cold down there... ::pulls   
her hand out to find it covered with fungus and bacteria:: EEK!!  
  
Kuja: See! I'll prove it to you! ::opens the bathroom door and it does  
lead to another demension:: See! It should only work for females!  
  
They all go into the bath together naked especially Rei who was  
originally naked. Except for Kuja who's wearing a silk robe.  
  
Ryoko: Hey Kuja! Why are you being so modest?  
  
Ayeka: See! I told you he really is a male! Take it off!  
  
Kuja: EEK! No! ::rubs his legs together::  
  
Ayeka: ::pulls Kuja's robe off::  
  
Everyone gasps in horror. From Kuja's neck to his knees is nothing  
but a cloud of mist.  
  
Everyone: AAHHHHH!!! ::runs out without even put their clothes on::  
  
Sakuya: ::pats Kuja on the head:: I know just how you feel...  
  
Nobuyuki: ::passing by:: Hi there ladies! Fiesty, eh?  
  
Everyone: AAHHHHHHHHHH!!!! ::runs back::   
  
  
Day 10. No Need for Bathing Suits!  
Setting: Beach  
  
The whole event with Kagato occurs and now everyone's in the episode  
with the bikini contest e.e;;.  
  
Celine: Hey! I know why don't we all join!?  
  
Ryoko: You could trryyyy!!! But I'm obviously going to win!?  
  
Lara: ::looking down her own shirt:: Um... do we have to wear a  
bathing suit??? I mean... I'm going to need a pretty big one...  
::tissues stick out as she quickly tucks it back in::  
  
Rei: ::naked:: ...  
  
Rinoa: Sure! If we get free bathing suits!  
  
Lara picks out a huge scarf to hold up her boobs and all the stuff  
she put with it.  
  
Rinoa wears a 2d bikini over her 3d body o.O;;.  
  
Asuka takes a plaid one.  
  
Rei's naked so they just put a transparent one on her. It just sorta...  
sags down...  
  
Kuja wears a pink fluffy flowery bikini.  
  
Celine wears her bikini under her shower curtain.  
  
Judge: Alright!!! Now for our lovely contestants!!! Miss Asuka  
Langhes!!!  
  
Crowd: ...Ew... school girl type...  
  
Asuka: ::gets mad and does the thing with her fists::  
  
Judge: Now! Celine Jules!  
  
Crowd: OOOoooh... now if only she'd take off that shower curtain and  
show us some more...  
  
Celine: ::trips on her shower curtain:: YAHHH!!! ::tries to get in  
the booth but her shower curtains too big she has to fold it up::  
  
Judge: Rinoa Heartilly!  
  
Crowd: AHHHH!!! MONSTER!!!  
  
Judge: Lara Croft!!  
  
Crowd: ANOTHER MONSTER!!  
  
Lara: GRRR!!! ::raises her arm and a potato falls out from her shirt::  
EEK! ::picks it up::  
  
Nagi: ::jumps in:: I'm in this too!!!  
  
Crowd: ooooh!  
  
Judge: Our last contestant!! Ayanami Rei!!!  
  
Rei: ::comes out, her bikini is gone and she's just naked:: ....  
  
Crowd: ::goes wild cheering::  
  
Judge: And the winner is Ayanami Rei!!!  
  
Rei ::naked:: ...  
  
Ryoko: That does it!! ::attempts to steal prize money::  
  
Lara: HEEY!! ::pulls a gold brick from her bikini and tosses it at  
Ryoko hitting her in the head::  
  
Ryoko: AH!!! ::knocked out::  
  
The fashion club escape in the pod.  
  
To Be continued... 


	4. Brahne's Will

  
Anime and RPGS  
The Fashion Club  
Chapter IV. Brahne's Will  
By: DaVe AkA LUnAr (Lunar Shinra)  
Last Update: 7/14/01  
  
  
Day 11. Objective: Inheritance  
Setting: Alexandria Castle  
  
Lawyer: We are... ::sniffle:: here to discuss the will of poor  
poor.. ::pretends to burst into tears::  
  
Garnet: Oh shut up and just read the will! I just wanna hear that I  
get all the money and become QUEEN!!!  
  
The fashion club: Grr...  
  
There's a huge ugly portrait of Brahne on the wall.  
  
Kuja: MUST they put that there!?  
  
Lawyer: ::sits up straight:: Very well then. Eh-hum.   
  
Hello everyone. It's me your beautiful Queen yatta yatta...  
  
Garnet: ::slams the table with her huge fat head:: GET TO THE POINT!  
  
Lawyer: To my dear... precious... beautiful daughter Garnet...  
  
Garnet: What a lying whore! I know she hates me! She neglected me all  
my life.  
  
Laywer: I leave...  
  
Garnet: ::gets all excited she pees in her suspenders:: WHAT!?!?!?!?  
  
Lawyer: My... favorite blond wig...  
  
Garnet: WHAAAATTT!?!?!?!?!? THAT B*TCH!!!!!!!!!!!!! AIIIEEEEE!!!!!  
  
Kuja: ::giggle::  
  
Lawyer: And as for my beloved friends...   
  
The fashion club: Awww....  
  
Lawyer: That g*y freak Kuja...  
  
Kuja: ::flashes eyes:: Excuse me! What are you an immigrant!? ::whips  
his hair back and walks away swaying his hips:: Freak...  
  
Lawyer: That whore with fake boobs Lara....  
  
Lara: WHY THAT!!!!!!!!!!!! ::steam comes out her shirt::  
  
Lawyer: That stuck up cocky schoolgirl Asuka...  
  
Asuka: ::does the thing with her fists::  
  
Lawyer: That nudist Rei...  
  
Rei: ::naked:: ...  
  
Lawyer: That Celine that sucks at magic...  
  
Celine: OH YEA!?!?!??! THAT THAT B*TCH!!! ::casts explosion burning  
the whole room::  
  
Lawyer: That blue asian slut Rinoa...  
  
Rinoa: FF8 RULES!!!! FF9 SUCKS!!!  
  
Kuja: Watch yo mouth!  
  
Lawyer: That cheap animated dragonball character Bra...  
  
Bra: ::starts cursing in japanese::  
  
Laywer: I divide all my money into equal shares among them.  
  
The fashion club: Woo-hoo!  
  
Lawyer: ONLY... if they spend one night in my haunted castle where  
they'll be given fancy dining, hottubs and massages.  
  
The fashion club: That sounds great!!!  
  
Lawyer: With seven guys...  
  
The fashion club: Even better!  
  
Lawyer: Which happen to be Brahne's ex-boyfriends...  
  
The fashion club: ...?  
  
Lawyer: And let's just say SHE dumped them!  
  
The fashion club: AHHH!!! ::head for the door::  
  
Kuja: I gotta be going! Have to get my nails done!  
  
Lara: I hafta go meet with my plastic surgeon!  
  
Lawyer: Wait! Just think what this could mean for you! Not just the  
money but the power! The fame! You'll be queens!  
  
The fashion club: Alrighty then! ^^  
  
Lawyer: Now then... BOYS! Come on out!  
  
Seven EXTREMELY ugly hair guys step out wearing bikini briefs that are  
too small.  
  
The fashion club: 0.0!!!  
  
Lara: ::drools:: I want them all!!!!  
  
The rest of the fashion club: ....  
  
Garnet: ::gasps!:: AMARANT! How could you!?  
  
Amarant: ::shrugs:: Hey... she had a HUGE ass!  
  
  
Night 11. Objective: Dates  
Setting: Alexandria Castle  
  
Kuja: ::crosses his legs:: I love shopping and wearing silk. I like  
shaving and hot sex with muscular men!  
  
Ugly guy number 1: ::puts on woman's clothing:: And I like to   
crossdress!  
  
Kuja: ::gasps:: What a coincidence! Me too!!! I think we'll make a  
great couple! ::starts unbuttoning the back of his dress::  
  
  
Rei: ::Naked:: ...  
  
Ugly guy number 2: So... that's a nice bod you got there...  
  
Rei: ::Naked:: ...  
  
Ugly guy number 2: Can I... touch it? ::reaches over::  
  
Rei: ::forcefield surrounds her and hits ugly guy::  
  
Ugly guy number 2: EEEK! My pecs! ::wax pecs melt off::  
  
  
Lara: ::ontop of ugly guy:: You know... You're better than my butler!  
OOOOOH!  
  
Ugly guy number 3: SUCH TORTURE!!! AAAHHHH!!!!!  
  
Lara: ::pulls out sex toys from her shirt::  
  
  
Asuka: GET THE HELL AWAY FROM ME!  
  
Ugly guy number 4: Heehee! Don't be shy... PPUUURRRR... You said you  
wanted a massage... ::reaches for her back::  
  
Asuka: ::kicks his weak body into the pool and runs off::  
  
Ugly guy number 4: HELP! IM DROWNING!!! ::drowns in the kiddy section::  
  
  
Celine: Stop that~!~!   
  
Amarant: Heehee! Lemme see under your shower curtain::  
  
Celine: ::playfully pushes him away:: So naughty!!! ::runs off::  
Come catch me~  
  
  
Garnet: ::outside climbing a tallass tree:: I've come to collect what's  
rightfully mine!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!  
  
Tree gets hit by lightning and breaks into two.  
  
Garnet: AAIIIIEIIEIEIEIEIE!!!! ::falls ten stories into the moat::  
  
Garnet: ::runs up the stairs through the main entrance:: 1,024,235...  
1,024, 236... ::collapses:: So... tired...  
  
A white blanket falls ontop of her.  
  
Amarant: ::sees her thinking she's Celine:: There you are! ::starts  
raping her::  
  
Garnet: EEEEKKKK!!!! GET OFFF!!!!! ::whacks him to death with her rod::  
  
Garnet continues running and passes by Lara straddling one of the ugly  
guys: EEEWWWWWW!!!  
  
Lara: Hey there~ wanna join little girl? Nice head!  
  
Garnet: ::runs off to the throne room::   
  
The fashion club is already there.  
  
Celine: Ha! Caught you in the act!  
  
Asuka: Hey where's Lara?  
  
Everyone: ...  
  
Lara's voice from across the hall: OOOOH YYYYEEEESSSSS!!!! YYYYESSSS!!  
OOOOOHHHHHH BBBBBAAAAABBBBBBYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Ugly guy's voice: SAAVVVEEE MEEEEE FROM THIS TORTURE!!!!!!!  
  
Everyone: ::sweatdrop:: ....  
  
While everyone's distracted Garnet opens an icebox revealing all of  
Brahne's most deepest treasures.  
  
Everyone: ::gasps::  
  
Garnet: WTF IS THIS!?!?!?!?!?!? She always told me not to touch this!!  
  
There's nothing in the icebox but loads and loads of food.  
  
Garnet: OOOHHHH... Sugar suckers... ::suck suck:: ACK! It's stale  
and frozen! ::lollipop is stuck to her tongue:: Wa def fuh?!  
  
Lightning strikes the whole castle and it begins to fall in.  
  
Lara: OOOOHHHH YYYYEESSSS!!! TAKE ME ON A RIDE!!!!  
  
Everyone: AHHHHHH!!!!!!!!  
  
Next day...  
  
Lara: ::stretches:: MMMM!!! That was great! I had SUCH a good night's  
sleep!  
  
The ugly guy she was with is dead under her.  
  
Lawyer: Since NONE of you spent the full night IN the castle... The  
money is donated to charity.  
  
Everyone: WHHATTT!?  
  
Lara: Oh well... I had my one night of fun.  
  
They all gang up on Lawyer and beat him up.  
  
Brahne's ghost show up even fatter than ever: Please stop fighting  
over me!  
  
Garnet: YOU B*TCH!!! ::Destroys the ghost with artificial sunlight  
absorbed by her big head::  
  
  
To Be Continued.  
  
  
  
  
  



	5. The Tenchi Tournament

  
Anime and RPGS  
The Fashion Club  
Chapter VI. The Tenchi Tournament  
By: DaVe AkA LUnAr (Lunar Shinra)  
Last Update: 7/17/01  
  
  
Day 13. Objective: Tenchi Tournament  
Setting: Lara's mansion  
  
Lara: Heeey! Look at this! Remember that Tenchi dork? He's having  
a tournament to decide who should be his lover!  
  
Kuja: Let's go! ... Just to prove our selves and meet some guys!  
  
Brahne flies into the room: Look everyone! I'm alive again!!  
  
Kuja: NNOOOO!!!! BUT HOW!?  
  
Brahne: I've been working on a slimfast plan while I was dead! That  
light from Garnet's head made me lose 500 pounds!  
  
Fashion Club: Sighs...  
  
Brahne: Now! I'm gonna reclaim my place as president!  
  
Lara: No... she's too big... can't... fight... back...  
  
They fly off to the tournament area in the space pod.  
  
Tenchi: Eewwww...What the F*CK is that?  
  
Fashion club's pod arrives squishing about 1/4 of the guests.  
  
Fashion club steps out.  
  
Fashion club: Hi there Tenchi! ;-)  
  
Tenchi: Yowza!  
  
Kuja steps out.  
  
Kuja: Well hello again Tenchi...Ooops! I seem to have dropped a quarter!  
::drops quarter on purpose::  
  
Kuja bends down.  
  
Tenchi: Eeeugghhh...Well hello again Rei! Looking great as usual!  
  
Rei: ::Naked:: ...  
  
Brahne: ::Munch, Munch:: Vello penchi!  
  
Tenchi: Eeeewww! What the f*ck are you?  
  
Brahne: Oh Tenchi! Your so modest! I have been losing weight!  
  
Tenchi: Huh? You're only hearing what you want to hear.  
  
Brahne: Yes i wouldn't mind some cheesecake right now!  
  
Tenchi: Why is a bathtub walking?  
  
Celine: ::Giggle:: Oh Tenchi! :)  
  
Tenchi: Well hello Lara!  
  
Lara: Hello tenchi! Ooops i seem to have wet my shirt!  
  
Lara wets shirt on purpose. Tenchi STARES.  
  
Asuka: Grrr... ::smacks Tenchi::  
  
Tenchi: Ooww you bitch!...Hi rinoa!  
  
Rinoa: Hello Tenchi! ::Blows kiss::  
  
Tenchi meets and greets the other guests.  
  
  
If you wanna find out about what happens with the tournament go  
read:  
http://www.fanfiction.net/index.fic?action=story-read&storyid=359394  
by Kartoonist13. A seperate fanfic which overlaps with mine.  
  
  
To Be Continued. 


	6. The Second Rivalry

  
Anime and RPGS  
The Fashion Club  
Chapter VII. The Second Rivalry  
By: DaVe AkA LUnAr (Lunar Shinra)  
Last Update: 8/20/01  
  
  
Day 14. Objective: More recruits  
Setting: Empty Night Club  
  
Asuka: ::sleeping in a pile of application forms::  
  
Bra: "Wow! Just look at all these requests to join our club!"  
  
Celine: "Yes! Everyone wants to be fashionable just like us!"  
  
Rei: ::naked:: ...  
  
Kuja: "Doesn't it feel so much freer now that Brahne died of fatigue  
from that contest?"  
  
Asuka: "Hell yea! The stupid b*tch never stood a chance against my  
superior skills and many talents!"  
  
Bra: "We even got to see a side of Rei we never knew existed!"  
  
Rei: ::naked:: ...  
  
Kuja: "Whatever! She's a lousy cheater trying to act all innocent  
like nothing happened!"  
  
Lara: "YEESSS! I feel so much freeeer!!!!" ::starts bouncing up and  
down with her boobs jiggling and millions of household items  
falling out of her shirt::  
  
Asuka: ::looking through the forms:: "What the-!? Misato!!!? Why that  
stupid ugly manly witch! Probably needs some fashion tips to steal  
my precious Kaji!!!"  
  
Celine: "Hahahaha! You are indeed sad. Can't even get your own man."  
  
Lara: "Yes indeed my way is if they resist then the woman's the  
one that has to do the raping!"  
  
Kuja: "Tee-hee I prefer to be grabbed into a dark alley and have him-"  
  
Lara: "EW! Kuja what are you!? A transexual! That's our job! To pull  
men into dark allies and seduce them til they're start crying."  
  
Asuka: "Enough with your silly fetishes! We should start picking  
out some of these applications."  
  
The interviews begin as the Fashion Club calls up all the applicants.  
  
  
Interview 1. Jill Valentine - Resident Evil 3  
  
Lara: "Why do you feel you should be in the club?"  
  
Jill: "Coz if you don't let me in I'm gonna f*ck up your face with an  
extremely heavy rocket launcher that I take literally FOREVER to pick  
up let alone aim the damn thing!"  
  
Lara: ::grabs a mallet from her shirt:: "WATCH IT SISTA! I'M PREPARED  
FOR THESE KINDA SITUATIONS!" ::jumps on desk and positions herself  
so her legs are spread out for the audience::  
  
Audience: "OOOHHH!!~!"  
  
Lara: "Heehee~!" ::blows kisses::  
  
Jill takes this opportunity to blast her head off with the rocket  
launcher.  
  
Celine: "Oh my god you killed Lara!"  
  
Asuka: "You bastard! Or not..."  
  
Kuja: "Hooray!"  
  
Headless Lara: ::pulls out a spare head from her shirt and screws it  
on::  
  
Asuka: "NEXT!"  
  
Jill gets thrown out.  
  
  
Interview 2. Nemesis - Resident Evil 3  
  
Asuka: "What's your name?"  
  
Nemesis: "STARS!"  
  
Asuka: "Um... profession?"  
  
Nemesis: "STARS!"  
  
Lara: ::passes by:: "You want STARS? I'll give you STARS!"  
  
Jill: "BITER!!!"  
  
Lara takes Nemesis to the dark room to show him some "stars."  
  
Asuka: "NEXT!"  
  
  
Interview 3. Claire Redfield and Sherry Birkin - Resident Evil 2  
  
Celine: "Hi there."  
  
Claire: ::in most squeaky and annoying voice ever:: "Tee-hee hi there."  
  
Sherry: ::in loud deep voice:: "SHUTTUP CLAIRE AND STOP TALKING LIKE  
A WUSS!"  
  
Claire: "Hee-hee. I'm so sorrie lil sherrie."  
  
Celine: "Umm... we'll call you!"  
  
Asuka: "NEXT!"  
  
Sherry and Claire get thrown out.  
  
Sherry: "HAPPY NOW!? THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!"  
  
Claire: "Boo-hoo. I'm so sorrie swty."  
  
Sherry: "SORRY THIS B*TCH!" ::tosses the grenade in her mouth::  
  
  
Interview 4. Nabiki - Ranma 1/2  
  
Celine: "Why do you want to be in the club?"  
  
Nabiki: "For the money. It's all about the money. Money is all that  
matters."  
  
Celine: "I see..."  
  
Nabiki: "I'll give you these perverted pics of Happousai if you let me  
join."  
  
Lara: "You're in!"  
  
Nabiki: "But you'll have to pay me 10 thousand yein."  
  
Lara: "DAMN!"  
  
Happousai zooms through the room stealing everyone's lingerie.  
  
Kuja: "EEEK! I wasn't wearing anything but that!"  
  
Asuka: "NEXT!"  
  
  
Interview 5. Happousai - Ranma 1/2  
  
Happousai: "I wanna join for the hot girls! I'll do all your laundry  
for you!"  
  
Kuja: ::crossing legs wearing white lingerie:: "This club is for girls  
only you transexual!"  
  
Happousai: "I'll do all your laundry for you!" ::steals the lingerie::  
  
Kuja: "EEEKK!!!" ::sissy slap::  
  
Lara takes Happousai into the dark room.  
  
Asuka: "NEXT!"  
  
  
Interview 6. Black Luna - Lunar: SSSC  
  
Kuja: "Love the outfit! Do you have any skills?"  
  
Black Luna: "Just my beautiful voice! OOOHHhoooHhHhoOHHhOoOhHhhHooohh!"   
  
Kuja: "AAAHHHHHHH!!!" ::covering ears and screaming like a girl::  
  
Black Luna gets thrown out.  
  
Asuka: "NEXT!"  
  
  
Interview 7. Etoile - Rhapsody  
  
Rinoa: "Hi."  
  
Etoile: "UGH! I thought this was supposed to be a FASHION club! Such  
cheap clothes!"  
  
Rinoa: "WHAT!?"  
  
Etoile gets thrown out.  
  
  
Interview 8. Mei Lin - Card captor Sakura  
  
Lara takes Mei Lin into the dark room and comes out moments later.  
  
Lara: "OOPS! My mistake..."  
  
Asuka: "Ne..." ::tired from saying that so many times::  
  
Lara: "You know you don't have to yell all the time. You're such a  
loudmouth."  
  
Asuka: "LOUDMOUTH!?" ::starts cursing in german::  
  
  
Interview 9. Aya Brea - Parasite Eve  
  
Celine: "Why do you run like that???"  
  
Asuka: "NEEE-XXX-TTTT!"  
  
Aya begins running out of the club but takes forever coz she runs   
so slow.  
  
Asuka: ::waiting:: ...  
  
Aya: "...Almost..."  
  
Aya FINALLY reaches the doorknob.  
  
Asuka: "LET ME HELP YOU!" ::whacks Aya with a fan sending her to the  
top of the Chrysler Building::  
  
  
Interview 10. Kid - Chrono Cross  
  
Celine: "Would you stop talking with that stupid pirate's accent!?"  
  
Kuja: "EW! Such a tomboy! Act your own sex damnit!"  
  
Asuka kicks Kid's arse so hard she kisses the moons.  
  
Asuka: "NNEE-XXX-TTTTT!!"  
  
  
Interview 11. Wufei - Gundam Wing  
  
Kuja: "Um... like we said... this is for GIRLS only!"  
  
Wufei: "That is injustice! I will tell you what justice is! Yatta  
yatta bs crap some stuff talk talk blahblah!"  
  
Lara takes Wufei to the dark room to show him her ideal "justice."  
  
Asuka: "Next!!"  
  
  
Interview 12. Essie - Who knows...  
  
Lara: "AAAHHHH!!!!"  
  
Essie: ::clings:: "Sister! Will you take me to the Dark room also?"  
  
Kuja: !  
  
Essie: "GASP! KUJA MY LOVE!" ::clings::  
  
Kuja: "AAAHHHH!!!!" ::whacks Essie all the way to the other side of  
the planet::  
  
Asuka: "...next..."  
  
They all faint from fatigue.  
  
Celine: "No more..."  
  
Lara: "C'mon! I wanna go into the dark room more!"  
  
Kuja: "Go by yourself..."  
  
Lara: "Hey! Great idea! Why didn't I think of it sooner?" ::runs into  
the dark room::  
  
Lara comes back out moments later VERY happy.  
  
  
Day 15. Objective: Rest  
Setting: Spa  
  
The Fashion Club members are all sitting in the hottub.  
  
Asuka: "So... tired... the whole day and all we managed to get was  
one new member..."  
  
Nabiki: ::playing with her beaded chart thing::  
  
Rinoa: "Nabiki... ever heard of a calculator?"  
  
Nabiki: "Did you know that the club spends about 1000000000 yein  
monthly just to pay for Lara's surgery bills?"  
  
Celine: "Stop with the yein talk!" ::bathing with her shower curtain::  
  
A naked guy jumps into the tub and starts hitting on Asuka.  
  
Asuka: "AAHHHH!!! What are you doing here!? You perv! KAJI SAVE ME!"  
  
The Fashion Club looks up to see themselves surrounded by naked  
guys.  
  
Lara: "Heaven..."  
  
Man: "You do realize this is the MEN's bath..."  
  
Club except Lara and Rei: "AAAHHHHH!!!" ::run out and drags Lara  
along::  
  
Lara: "You people are no fun!"  
  
  
Day 16. Objective: Conduct a music video  
Setting: Lara's house  
  
Lara: "We need something to tell the world just how slutty we are!"  
  
Asuka: "How about a music video?"  
  
Everyone: "YEA!"  
  
Rinoa: ::holding the camera and try very hard to balance it::  
  
The set is just a pink wall with a cheaply drawn heart on it.  
  
Celine: ::trying to rap:: "Where's all my soul sistas? Lemme hear  
y'all flow, sistas." ::tries to snap but her nails get in the way::  
  
Bg chorus: ::extremely loud and all out of tune:: "Hey sista,""soul  
sista" "go sista" "hey""sista""soul sista"  
  
Kuja skips infront of the cheap heart wearing pantyhose and a feather:  
  
"He met Marmalade down in ol' Moulin Rouge   
Strutting her stuff on the street   
She said, Hello, hey Joe, you wanna give it a go, oh uh uh   
  
Gitchie, gitchie, ya ya, da da (hey hey hey)   
Gitchie, gitchie, ya ya here (here, here)   
Mocha chocalata ya ya (ooh yeah)   
Creole Lady Marmalade"  
  
Bg Chorus: ::TRYING to speak french:: "Vuulz vuz cosher avez moe"  
  
Celine tries to enter through the heart but bangs her head.  
  
Rinoa: "You idiot! It's just a drawing."  
  
They drill a tiny hole in the wall.  
  
Lara: "NNNOOO!! My wall!"  
  
Celine: ::squeezes through the hole wearing nothing but her shower  
curtain:  
  
"He sat in her boudoir while she freshened up   
Boy drank all that Magnolia wine   
All her black satin sheets, swear he started to freak, yeah   
  
Gitchie, gitchie, ya ya, da da (da da da)   
Gitchie, gitchie, ya ya here (oh oh yeah yea)   
Mocha chocalata ya ya (ya-a-a, yeah, yeah)   
Creole Lady Marmalade, ah"  
  
Switches to a scene with Celine in the canopy bed trying to fit  
her curtain it it.  
  
Lara prances in through the hole in the wall wearing a nothing but  
a T-shirt:  
  
"He come through with the money and the garter bags   
Let him know we 'bout that cake straight out the gate, uh   
We independent women, some mistake us for whores   
I'm saying why spend mine when I can spend yours   
Disagree, well that's you and I'm sorry   
I'ma keep playing these cats out like Atari   
Wear high-heeled shoes, get love from the dudes   
Four bad-ass chicks from the Moulin Rouge   
Hey sistas, soul sistas, better get that dough, sistas"  
  
Camera switches to the scene with Lara sitting in the chair and her  
butlet brings stuff to her.  
  
Lara:  
"We drink wine with diamonds in the glass by the case   
The meaning of expensive taste   
You wanna gitchie, gitchie, ya ya   
Mocha chocalata, what   
Creole Lady Marmalade   
One more time, c'mon" ::Takes the necklace:: ::takes the butler too::  
  
Butler: "Ohh noo... not again."  
  
Chorus: "Marmalade! Lady marmalade! OOOHHH!!!!"  
  
Rei ::walks in naked:: ...  
  
Everyone: ...   
  
Dead silence.  
  
Bra: "Erm... let's just skip her part..."  
  
Camera switches to Lara.  
  
Lara: "Kuja... Celine... ME! ... Rei ... Misdemeanor here."  
  
Everyone runs infront of the camera and crowd up so much they break  
the wall with the heart down and lands on the butler in the kitchen.  
  
Butler: "Uhhh......"  
  
Everyone: "Creole Lady Marmalade, ooooh, yes-ah!!!!!" ::ceiling falls  
on them::  
  
Kuja: "That was fun getting to wear a pantyhose!" ::prances::  
  
Lara: "Yea... too bad Rei forgot her lines."  
  
Asuka: "I should've been in it!"  
  
Celine: "Let's get some popcorn and watch the video!"  
  
Kuja: "Yea! And afterwards we can have pillow fights in our underwear!"  
  
Rinoa: "Oops... I kinda forgot to put the film in the camera..."  
  
Everyone: "WHAT!?"  
  
Nabiki: ::starts calculating expenses to repair the wall::  
  
Bra: ::watching Destiny's Child Bootylicious video:: "GRRR! Look at  
those wannabes trying to be sluttier than us!"  
  
Lara: "I know right! It just burns me up!"  
  
Rei: ::naked:: ...  
  
  
To Be Continued. 


	7. The Persona 2 Saga

Anime and RPGS  
The Fashion Club  
Chapter VII. The Persona 2 Saga   
By: DaVe AkA LUnAr (Lunar Shinra)  
  
  
  
A/N: Eternal punishment not Innocent Sin. The chapter numerals  
were all ahead by one because I took down one of the chapters in  
between and I'm too lazy to change em all :P.  
  
Day 17.   
Setting: Some grassy field.  
  
The fashion club is just relaxing in the sun. Wearing bikinis even   
though it's 20 degrees waiting for some guys to pass by and stare at  
them.  
  
Asuka: "Honestly! Being TOO beautiful is just SSOOOO tiring!"  
  
Lara: "My chest hurts... I can't take this much more..."  
  
Nabiki: "We're wasting lots of valuable money making time!"  
  
Rei: ::naked:: ...  
  
Bra: "It's not fair! Why does my brother get to be in so many yaoi  
doujinshi yet no one appreciates me!" ::cries::  
  
Kuja: ::rubbing on suntan lotion:: "We need a vacation!" ::all these  
dirty pidgeons cling to him:: "AAHHH!!!"  
  
Celine: ::sighs:: "Let's face it! This isn't working out! Maybe we  
should take a break from being beautiful."  
  
Rinoa: ::sniffle:: "Is it really that bad!?"  
  
Asuka: "Hmph! I could NEVER stop being beautiful no matter how hard  
I try. Hahaha! Coz I'm Asuka Langhley Sohryu- ::starts wandering off  
and speaks a whole mess of things in german::"  
  
Bra: "NOBODY NOTICES MEEE!!!"  
  
Nabiki: "A vacation!? We can't waste our money on that!"  
  
Lara: ::points:: "Hey! That guy over there's been staring at us! Come  
over here cutie!"  
  
Guy: ::turns out to be Misato from eva::  
  
Everyone: "AAAAAIIIIIEEEEEEEE!!!"  
  
Misato: ::flexes her muscles:: "I wanna join the fashion club!"  
  
Everyone: "EEWWWWWW!!! HEELLL NOOOOOO YOU UGLY SHE-MALE!!!"  
  
Misato: "I'll give you all free beer!"  
  
Everyone but Asuka: "ALRIGHT!!"  
  
Asuka: "NOOO!!! Don't be blinded by her evil ways!!"  
  
Touji and Kensuke from eva: ::pops out of bushes:: "Miss Misato's sooo   
gorgeous!"  
  
Asuka: "ANTA BAKA!!?!? ARE YOU ON CRACK OR SOMETHING!?!?!" ::smack::  
  
Bra: "PEOPLE! DON'T YOU CARE WHAT I THINK!?!?!?!?! So what if my family's  
so messed up we're all named after underwear!? So what if I look like  
my mom!? So what if I can't transform into super saiyajin!!!?? Doesn't  
anyone care!?!?! AHHHH!!!!!!!!!"  
  
  
Day 18.  
Setting: Dance studio  
  
Misato: ::getting drunk and trying to tempt Kuja::  
  
Kuja: "Oh no! I'll stick to my diet pepsi!"  
  
Misato: ::stuffs it into his mouth::  
  
Kuja: ::gets drunk with Misato::  
  
Asuka: "Let's go to Tokyo-3 for our vacation to see Kaji!!"  
  
Misato: "I HATE KAJI!"  
  
Kuja: "No! Not again! Not after what happened last time we went!"  
  
Misato: "I HATE KAJI!"  
  
  
---Flasback:  
  
Kuja: ::timidly steps off the plane::  
  
People lined up everywhere clapping: "CONGRATULATIONS! CONGRATULATIONS!  
CONGRATULATIONS! CONGRATULATIONS! CONGRATULATIONS! CONGRATULATIONS!   
CONGRATULATIONS! CONGRATULATIONS! CONGRATULATIONS! CONGRATULATIONS!   
CONGRATULATIONS! CONGRATULATIONS! CONGRATULATIONS! CONGRATULATIONS!"  
  
Kuja: ::blushes so much:: "Oh my! Please stop your embarassing me!  
I didn't think my new perfume would be THIS affective!"  
  
People: "CONGRATULATIONS!CONGRATULATIONS!CONGRATULATIONS!CONGRATULATIONS!  
CONGRATULATIONS!CONGRATULATIONS!CONGRATULATIONS!CONGRATULATIONS!CONGRATULATIONS!  
CONGRATULATIONS!CONGRATULATIONS!CONGRATULATIONS!CONGRATULATIONS!CONGRATULATIONS!  
CONGRATULATIONS!CONGRATULATIONS!CONGRATULATIONS!CONGRATULATIONS!CONGRATULATIONS!  
CONGRATULATIONS!CONGRATULATIONS!"  
  
Kuja: "AAAAHHHHH!!! STOP THE INSANITY!!!" ::passes out::  
  
Lara hops off the plane.  
  
People: "CONGRATULATIONS!CONGRATULATIONS!CONGRATULATIONS!CONGRATULATIONS!  
CONGRATULATIONS!CONGRATULATIONS!CONGRATULATIONS!CONGRATULATIONS!CONGRATULATIONS!  
CONGRATULATIONS!CONGRATULATIONS!CONGRATULATIONS!CONGRATULATIONS!CONGRATULATIONS!  
CONGRATULATIONS!CONGRATULATIONS!CONGRATULATIONS!CONGRATULATIONS!CONGRATULATIONS!  
CONGRATULATIONS!CONGRATULATIONS!CONGRATULATIONS!CONGRATULATIONS!"  
  
Lara: "Oh thank you! You like me! You really like me!" ::strikes pose::  
  
People: "CONGRATULATIONS!CONGRATULATIONS!CONGRATULATIONS!CONGRATULATIONS!  
CONGRATULATIONS!CONGRATULATIONS!CONGRATULATIONS!CONGRATULATIONS!CONGRATULATIONS!  
CONGRATULATIONS!CONGRATULATIONS!CONGRATULATIONS!CONGRATULATIONS!CONGRATULATIONS!  
CONGRATULATIONS!CONGRATULATIONS!CONGRATULATIONS!CONGRATULATIONS!CONGRATULATIONS!  
CONGRATULATIONS!CONGRATULATIONS!CONGRATULATIONS!CONGRATULATIONS!CONGRATULATIONS!  
CONGRATULATIONS!CONGRATULATIONS!CONGRATULATIONS! CONGRATULATIONS!CONGRATULATIONS!  
CONGRATULATIONS!CONGRATULATIONS!CONGRATULATIONS!CONGRATULATIONS!"  
  
Lara: "THANK YOU! THANK YOU!THANK YOU!THANK YOU!THANK YOU!THANK YOU!THANK YOU!  
THANK YOU!THANK YOU!THANK YOU!THANK YOU!THANK YOU!THANK YOU!THANK YOU!  
THANK YOU!THANK YOU!THANK YOU!THANK YOU!THANK YOU!THANK YOU!THANK YOU!THANK YOU!  
THANK YOU!THANK YOU!THANK YOU!THANK YOU!THANK YOU!THANK YOU!THANK YOU!THANK YOU!  
THANK YOU!THANK YOU!THANK YOU!THANK YOU!THANK YOU!THANK YOU!THANK YOU!THANK YOU!  
THANK YOU!THANK YOU!THANK YOU!THANK YOU!THANK YOU!THANK YOU!THANK YOU!THANK YOU!  
THANK YOU!THANK YOU!THANK YOU!THANK YOU!THANK YOU!THANK YOU!THANK YOU!THANK YOU!  
THANK YOU!THANK YOU!THANK YOU!THANK YOU!THANK YOU!THANK YOU!THANK YOU!THANK YOU!  
THANK YOU!THANK YOU!THANK YOU!THANK YOU!THANK YOU!THANK YOU!THANK YOU!THANK YOU!  
THANK YOU!THANK YOU!THANK YOU!THANK YOU!THANK YOU!THANK YOU!THANK YOU!THANK YOU!  
THANK YOU!THANK YOU!THANK YOU!THANK YOU!THANK YOU!THANK YOU!THANK YOU!THANK YOU!  
THANK YOU!THANK YOU!THANK YOU!THANK YOU!THANK YOU!THANK YOU!THANK YOU!THANK YOU!  
THANK YOU!THANK YOU!THANK YOU!THANK YOU!THANK YOU!THANK YOU!THANK YOU!THANK YOU!  
THANK YOU!THANK YOU!THANK YOU!THANK YOU!THANK YOU!THANK YOU!THANK YOU!THANK YOU!  
THANK YOU!THANK YOU!THANK YOU!THANK YOU!THANK YOU!THANK YOU!"  
  
People: "AAAHHHH!!!" ::gets scared and runs away::  
  
Lara: "Hey wait! Come back!"  
  
-----Present:  
  
Kuja: ::shutters from remembering::  
  
Lara: ::sighs dreamily as she strikes a stupid pose yet again::  
  
Celine: ::bursts into the room as she slips across the waxed floor  
and crashes into a mirror::  
  
Nabiki: "Oh great! Another expense we have to pay!"  
  
Bra: "Helloooo???" ::waves arms::   
  
Misato: "I HATE KAJI!"  
  
Lara: ::starts babbling on about some random topic::  
  
Bra: ::steps right infront of Lara:: "Hellloooo???"  
  
Lara: ::doesn't seem to notice::  
  
Celine: "I've got it!! A letter from some person named Nezu saying she  
wants an interview! We'll be even more famous!"  
  
The fashion club skips off to meet up with Nezu.  
  
  
Setting: Street  
  
Lara: ::can't see where she's going due to overstuffing her shirt  
and crashes into someone:: "AAAHHHH!! WATCH WHERE YOU'RE GOING YOU  
SKANK!"  
  
Person: "AUGH!" ::little fairy sprite with tatoo and make up::  
  
Green text start appearing below her: Trish. Stuck up fairy that  
loves money. She sucks as a healer especially since she keep ripping   
people off. I'm getting Deja Vue.  
  
Kuja: ::blinks:: "A bio? How interesting! I wanna see mine!"  
  
Green text: Kuja. Gay.  
  
Trish: "How dare you!?" ::holds out her cheap little wand that was  
broken in half and she attempted to tape back together:: "Hmm... I  
will make your worse nightmare come true! I will spread a rumor that  
Brahne is alive!!"  
  
Lightning.  
  
Organ music.  
  
Babies cry.  
  
Dogs bark.  
  
Gasps.  
  
Fashion club: "AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!"  
  
Trish: "So long suckers!" ::picks up a garbage can and tosses it's  
contents into the air as she runs off::  
  
Rinoa: ::blinks:: "Nice exit."  
  
A HUGE object lands falls from the sky and lands on Rinoa crushing her.  
  
Nabiki: "Yay! Now we get money from the life insurance company!"  
  
Huge figure is... Brahne!!!  
  
Fashion club: "AAAIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!"  
  
Lara: ::shaking:: "So the rumor DID come true!?!?!"  
  
Brahne: "Mwahaha! Actually I managed to lose a lot of weight in the  
underworld! Thanks to this!"  
  
Brahne: ::holds out Borgan's bromide where he's taking a bubble  
bath::  
  
Lara: ::drool::  
  
Brahne: "Yes! This was my ray of hope! I kept staring at it and I just  
got so hot that I sweated 50 lbs of weight!"  
  
Borgan's bromide glows in the light all holy-ish.  
  
Nezu: ::pops up from behind a bush wearing her michael jackson suit::  
"I'm Nezu! I work for this company!" ::holds up cheap napkin with  
some words scribbled on it::  
  
Brahne: ::knocks everyone of the way with her huge belly:: "I'd be happy  
to do an interview!"  
  
Nezu: "AAHHH!!!" ::rips off the suit and reveals her mouse costume::  
"CCCHHHHHHHUUUUUUU!!!"  
  
Brahne: "AWWW! That's so cute! I could just eat it all up!"  
  
Fashion club: ::takes this opportunity to escape from Brahne::  
  
Iron Mouse: "Give me your starseed!" ::shoots cheap little fireballs  
from her bracelets::  
  
Brahne: ::eats it:: "Yum!" ::feels weird::  
  
A huge tub of lard falls out from Brahne's head.  
  
Iron Mouse: "EEEWWW! That's a starseed!?"  
  
Brahne transforms into Sailor Fatass ugly bitch as two little sailor  
collar things appear around her neck.  
  
Iron Mouse: "Oh well! Time for some hot phone sex!" ::runs into  
a telephone booth as the door closes and the windows begin to  
steam up::  
  
Iron Mouse: "Bai bai!" ::about to disappear just when-::  
  
A cheap rose hits the telephone booth and magically breaks it with  
it's awesome power.  
  
Iron Mouse: "AHHH!!!"  
  
Kuja: "Why are we still here?"  
  
Lara: "I just wanted to hear the phone sex!"  
  
Iron Mouse: "GRRR!!" ::throws old fashioned 70's phones at them::  
  
Borgan's bromide shines.  
  
Sailor fatass ugly bitch: "BORGEEE!!!" ::gets healed and transforms   
back::  
  
Brahne: "BEAUTIFUL!!!!"  
  
Iron Mouse: "I'll get you next time!" ::disappears in a telephone  
booth::  
  
Happousai zooms through the room stealing everyone's lingerie.  
  
Happousai: ::sees Ulala the lingerie GODDESS:: "OOO!!!" ::chases::  
  
Etoile: ::steps out from the men's bathroom across the street::  
"Hohohohoho! If it isn't the so called fashion club!"  
  
Celine: "What are you doing here!?"  
  
Etoile: "Well since I have nothing better to do! I just stalk people  
since I have no lives. Aren't I great!? Hohohoho!"  
  
Sara: ::pops out of trash can:: "THAT'S MY JOB!!"  
  
Everyone: "AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!" ::runs::  
  
Sara: ::smirk:: "You know if I didn't know any better I'd think you  
were all avoiding mee!" ::stalks"  
  
  
Setting: Another area of the park  
  
Celine: ::pant pant:: "Who the HELL was that!?"  
  
Asuka: ::pant pant:: "I don't know but she was scary looking!"  
  
Sara: "HIYA!!"  
  
Green text: Slut wannabe that tries to attracts guys by wearing  
slutty clothes but since she can't afford any she just paints em  
on when dirt. I'm getting Deja Vue.  
  
Kuja: "EWWW! She's shedding!"  
  
Sara: "OOPS! Stupid wig!" ::attempts to glue it back on with cheap  
sticky gum::  
  
Fashion club:: ::runs::  
  
  
Setting: Some fountain at some park  
  
Trish: ::pops out of a water fountain:: "Mwahaha! Now you know the   
wrath of Trish!!"  
  
Fashion club: "PLEASE! We'll do anything! Just get rid of THAT!"  
::points to Brahne::  
  
Brahne: ::pretends to be a big stuffed animal so she could eat all  
the little kids::  
  
Trish: "Hahaha! It doesn't matter what you do! All I want is money!  
Waaayyy too much money for you to save up! I love money more than  
anything!"  
  
Nabiki: "GASP! Me too!"  
  
Etoile and Lemina Ausa (from lunar2): ::pop out from the bushes::  
"GASP! Me too!"  
  
Etoile: "I don't love men! I love money! Hohoho!!"  
  
Nabiki: "We're wasting time! Who cares about fashion! Let's all start  
a big monopoly to rip people off with defective products!"  
  
Nabiki, Trish, Lemina and Etoile run off to do just that.  
  
Lara: "Hmm... too bad... and she provided us with such nice pictures  
of Happousai. Especially that one where he was skinnydipping."  
  
Brahne: ::sighs dreamingly:: "Borgan..." ::fans herself while staring  
at the bromide::  
  
Asuka: "So this means we're stuck with HER AND Misato!? In exchange  
for Rinoa and Nabiki!? Ugh! What a bad day!"  
  
  
Day 19.  
Setting: Treno Inn  
  
Asuka: "I can't take much more of this! Someone kill me if not that  
fat piece of blubber!!"  
  
Brahne: ::eats everything in sight::  
  
Celine: "Look at this! We've recieved another letter from someone  
who wants to interview us! Some person named Maya Amano."  
  
Rei: ::naked:: ...  
  
Kuja: "Oh well... better than staying here."  
  
  
Day 20.  
Setting: On the way to meet up with Maya  
  
Fashion club: ::passing by a park when they find someone in their way::  
  
An ugly girl walks up and down two cardboard boxes that are lined  
up together. A three second song is being played over and over again on  
the radio.  
  
Green text: Ellen. She looks like a fricking alien. With that pale  
skin and that huge head. And those tiny android eyes. Supposedly a  
model but she always wears that cheap jungle exploration outfit.  
How could someone so ugly be a model. I'm getting Deja Vue.  
  
Ellen: ::sways her hips as she walks then stops and snaps her fingers::  
"OH! How elegant! AHHH!" ::Falls off her boxes::  
  
Fashion club: "..." ::Walks away scared::  
  
Shadow Ulala: ::getting high:: "OH! Hey OH! Kids! Wanna get OH! High!?  
OH!"  
  
Green text: Ulala's shadow. Acts like she's on some serious drugs and  
loves to shout "OH!!" I'm getting Deja Vue.  
  
Kuja: "Oh nooo! I'm a GOOD girl!"  
  
Shadow Ulala: "OH! But OH! Doesn't it feel SOH! GOOD!? OH!"  
  
Lara: ::slaps Shadow Ulala:: "NO!"   
  
Spotlight appears over Lara.  
  
Lara: "I admit I've done some pretty awful things! But NEVER EVER  
EVER would I be desperate enough to do drugs!! That's right kids!  
Drugs can seriously mess you up! No matter how crazy the fashion  
club is we will NEVER support drugs!!" ::strikes stupid pose::  
  
(Lara gets jumped the next day: "DAMNIT! Why didn't they rape me  
while they were at it!?")  
  
Fashion club: ::runs::  
  
Kuja: "There are some seriously weird people in this park... I   
wonder what's next..."  
  
Random anime newbie: ::reading anime magazine:: "AH! Who's this  
AYANAMI!?"  
  
Another anime newbie: "I've never heard of AYANAMI!"  
  
Another: "She must be REALLY unpopular and she's probably from one  
of those anime that no one has ever heard about!"  
  
Rei: ::naked:: ...  
  
Misato: ::drunk:: ...  
  
Asuka: "GAASSSPPP!! WHAT ARE YOU STUPID!??! How DARE you insult  
Evangelion like that YOU NEWBIE!!!!!" ::smack::  
  
Celine: "Let's go already!" ::pulls them away::  
  
  
  
Day 21.  
Setting: Inn  
  
Fashion club: ::sleeping::  
  
Nanami from Suikoden 2: "WAAAKKKKKEEEE UPPPPP!!!"  
  
Lara: "AAHH!! Who hell are you!? You woke me from my wet dream! And  
I was so close to my climax!"  
  
Nanami: "I just like waking people up!" ::skips off::  
  
Asuka: "Freak..."  
  
Fashion club finally arrives at Kismet Pub.  
  
Lara: "HI MAYA! I'm ready for my clooose up~!"  
  
Maya: ::walks over to them:: ...  
  
Lara: "EH?!"  
  
Maya: ...  
  
Asuka: "EEP! Not another Rei!"  
  
Rei: ::naked:: ...  
  
Misato: ::drunk:: ...  
  
Maya: ...?  
  
Celine: ::taps foot::  
  
Maya: ...!  
  
Green text: It's one of those RPGs where the main character doesn't  
talk. I'm getting Deja Vue.  
  
Asuka: "GRRR! So we wasted all our time for nothing!?!?"  
  
Brahne: "MMmm... so yummy looking..."  
  
Maya's boss storms out from her office: "What's this noise!?   
BRAHNE?!!?"  
  
Brahne: "GASP! Mizuno!!!"  
  
Green text: Mizuno. Chief editor of Coolest Magazine. Rivals with   
Brahne over the love of Borgan. I'm getting Deja Vue.  
  
Mizuno: "BORGAN IS MINE!!"  
  
Brahne: "NO HE ISN'T BITCH! HE'S MINE YOU AMATEUR! DON'T MAKE ME EAT  
YOU WHOLE!"  
  
Fashion club: ::makes another attempt to escape from Brahne::  
  
Lara's just um... walking...  
  
Strange Cat statue about Lara's height: ::tiptoes from behind::  
  
Lara: "Hmm...?" ::realizes she's being stalked and gets horny::  
  
Lara keeps walking.  
  
Cat follows.  
  
Lara stops.  
  
Cat stops: "Meow! Give me money!"  
  
Lara: ::keeps walking::  
  
Cat: ::keeps following:: "MEOW! Give me money!!!"  
  
Lara: "NO!"  
  
Cat: ::pounces on Lara and starts attacking her::  
  
Lara: "AAAHHHHH!!!!!"  
  
Brahne: "Wait uuuppp!!" ::pant pant as she slithers towards them::  
  
Fashion club: "AAHHHH!!!" ::runs and hides in police office::  
  
Lara: "Whoo..."  
  
Big dog statue: "Ruff! Give me money!"  
  
Lara: "AHHH!!!!!"  
  
Lara gets attacked again.  
  
Asuka: "What a long and AWFUL day!"  
  
Misato: ::drunk:: ...  
  
Celine: "Yea... let's head home already..."  
  
On the way The fashion club runs into the Metal Trio!!  
  
Metal Trio: "You promised we'd be together forever and ever and ever  
and ever and ever!!!"  
  
Fashion club: ::glares at Lara::  
  
Lara: "WHAT! I SWEAR I had NOTHING to do with this, this time!"  
  
Celine: "What awful colors! Even I would never make outfits out of  
metal and I use pratically anything I can find in the house!"  
  
Sailor Iron Mouse, Allunium Siren, Lead Crow, and Tin cat pop up: "GASP!  
We must worship them!!" ::worship worship::  
  
Metal Lisa and Asuka exchange glares at eachother.  
  
Lisa: "GRRR... Stupid blondes rule!" ::gets into a whole drag queen  
act::  
  
Asuka: "Annoying redheads are better!" ::throws a whole fit::  
  
Lisa: ::casts throw a kiss:: "SORRY YALLL!!!!"  
  
No one is rendered charm coz Lisa is just too damn annoying.  
  
No one except... for Lara of course...  
  
Lara: ::cling:: "I LUV YOU!!!"  
  
Lisa: "AAHHH!!! GET OFFF!!!!"  
  
Asuka: "How the hell could Lisa be Cantonese if she's a stupid blonde?  
What a reject!"  
  
Lisa: "GRRR!!! I know cantonese very well! Er... um... Cheyan?? Lo  
mein!? Chow Hoi fun???"  
  
Metal Eikichi: "Haha! We're made out of metal which means physical  
attacks don't work on us!"  
  
Everyone: "GASP! It's Eikichi! Eikichi rules!" ::worship::  
  
Lara: "OH REALLY!?" ::takes out a huge sledge hammer and bashes the  
metal trio's heads off::  
  
Salam Ladeem: "Hello there!"  
  
Everyone: "AAAHHHH!!! It's Osama Bin Laden!!!" ::runs::  
  
Fashion club hides in grocery store as FREAKY music plays.  
  
Satomi Sister #347843789389347: "Hello! May I help you?"  
  
Fashion club: ::freaks out over the music, leaves and runs into   
another grocery store::  
  
Satomi Sister #347843789389348: "Hello! May I help you?"  
  
Celine: "WHAT THE!? Didn't we just see you before?"  
  
Satomi Sister #347843789389348: "Oh that was my twin sister! You see  
we're all sisters and we all look alike and we all work in grocery  
stores that alike."  
  
Asuka: "...Wouldn't that be copying Pocket Monsters?"  
  
Satomi Sister #347843789389348: "Oh yes! Isn't it such a SPLENDID  
idea to save time by unrealisticly making characters that all look  
alike and are all related. It's so creative and intelligent! As  
a matter of fact in episode 325387389278 of Pocket Monsters you find  
out that the Satomi sisters, nurse Joy and office Jenny are ALSO  
all related to each OTHER! Isn't it the most original idea ever!?"  
  
Fashion club: ::Runs::  
  
Kuja: "This place is SCARY! I wanna run home already. Oprah's about  
to start!"  
  
Brahne: "Pant pant! I finally caught up with you!!"   
  
Fashion club: "GRRR!!!" ::throws Brahne into Sushi Gatten where she eats  
everything::  
  
Celine: "Why didn't she die yet!?"  
  
Lara: "Guess she hasn't eaten enough!"  
  
Fashion club takes Brahne to that fast food place in which the author  
does not remember the name of.  
  
Chikalin: "HIYA!"  
  
Green text: Blue haired teenager with a nasty smile that does nothing  
but hang out at the fast food place all day coz she has nothing  
better to do. I'm getting Deja Vue.  
  
Brahne: ::eats everything and finally dies again::  
  
  
To Be Continued...  
  
REVIEW!!! More reviews = more updates!! 


	8. Lara's Evil Plan

Anime and RPGS  
The Fashion Club  
Chapter VIII. Lara's Evil Plan   
By: DaVe AkA LUnAr (Lunar Shinra)  
  
  
  
TV Announcer: "Attention! We interrupt this program to bring you a  
very important announcement! It seems there is an extremely strange  
new chemical being spread in the air throughout the entire worldwide  
region. Where it's coming from we do not know but it seems that this  
chemical is causing billions of people worldwide to become a hundred  
times more sexually active. Scientists are currently investigating-er,  
at least they're supposed to be but they're too busy fucking.  
  
Well anyway, be on the lookout for rapists, so that way you can get  
your lube ready. And for those that are already extremely sexually  
active such as infamous porn star superwhore Lara Croft, who knows  
what kind of effect the outbreak might have... I think she might just  
go MAWD..."  
  
PRESENT DAY. PRESENT TIME. YAHAHAHAHAHHA!  
Setting: Hell  
  
Brahne and Mizuno are still fighting over Borgan.  
  
Brahne: "Borgan is mine!!"  
  
Mizuno: "HE'S MINE!"  
  
Fatty girl from Ludacris starts playing.  
  
Brahne: "GASP! It's me and Borgan's LOVE theme!"  
  
Mizuno: "WHAT!? That's the love theme for ME and Borgan!"  
  
Brahne: "NO WAY! We were playing that song on our anniversary!"  
  
Mizuno: "We were playing that when he loss his virginity to me!"  
  
Brahne: "NO WAY!"  
  
Mizuno: "YES WAY! We were going to name our first child 'Pepperoni  
Pizza With Extra Cheese!'"  
  
Brahne: "We were gunna name ours 'Delicious all you can eat buffet  
thanksgiving 90% off all ordives FEAST! No tax included with ice  
cream desert!'"  
  
Brahne: "..."  
  
Mizuno: "..."  
  
Brahne and Mizuno all of a sudden break into a kiss and then pull  
back.  
  
Brahne: "You kissed me!"  
  
Mizuno: "NO! You kissed me you freak!"  
  
Brahne and Mizuno: "..." ::break into kiss again and pull back again::  
  
Brahne: "Don't touch me!!"  
  
Mizuno: "You're touching yourself stupid!"  
  
Brahne: ::looks down and sees her own hands on herself::  
  
Brahne and Mizuno: "...I'm hungry..."  
  
Brahne: "I wanna taste Borgan's lips..."  
  
Mizuno: "They belong to me!"  
  
Dola from Laputa: Castle in the Sky appears: "YOU'RE BOTH WRONG!  
Borgan is mine!"  
  
Brahne: "Who the hell are you!? And how dare you copy my hairstyle!"  
  
Dola: "YOUR hairstyle!? I'm about a billion years older than you  
so there!!"  
  
Mizuno: "Somehow... I find that easy to believe..."  
  
Dola: "It shows!? So my new youth cream that I made out of bacon  
grease doesn't work!?"  
  
Brahne: "Bacon grease!? I don't smell any and I can detect food a  
hundred lightyears away!!"  
  
Mizuno: ::licks Dola's wrinkly skin:: "You're right! This isn't bacon  
grease! It's facial hair! ...And... MMM! ACNE!!"  
  
Mizuno and Brahne start licking at Dola's face.  
  
Dola: "Of course silly! I ate the bacon grease to make myself younger,  
derf! What else am I supposed to do with skin cream!?"  
  
Borgan appears in a holy light from heaven. Dressed in a white robe,  
halo and wings.  
  
Brahne, Dola and Mizuno: "GASP! BORGEEE!!"  
  
Borgan: "Please! Do not fight over me! I have come up with a love   
theme for the three of us!"  
  
HORNY HUNGRY HIPPOS start playing in the background.  
  
Borgan: "Get yo groove on!" ::outfit transforms into pimping suit  
with jewelry and sunglasses::  
  
Borgan, Brahne, Dola and Mizuno form a congo line but their arms are   
too short to reach each other's shoulders coz they're bellies are in  
the way. They sway their fatasses back and forth destroying  
everything in their path.  
  
Borgan: ::sniffs air:: "Do you smell that?"  
  
Brahne, Dola and Mizuno: "FOOOOOODD!"  
  
  
Setting: Misato's apartment  
  
Asuka: "UGH! Having to eat Misato's awful cooking again! No way!"  
  
Lara: ::takes Asuka's plate and stuffs it in her shirt::  
  
Misato: "MMM!!! But it's so good! It's leftovers from last year since  
no one would eat them!"  
  
Asuka: "Where's Shinji and Pen pen?"  
  
Misato: "You were just eating them!"  
  
Everyone: "..." ::gives their food to Lara::  
  
Kuja: "Hey! Since we're starting to lose members I went out and  
got us some new recruits!"  
  
Celine: "Who?"  
  
Serio from Tenchi Muyo! Freiza from DBZ, and Milich from Suikoden   
step out.  
  
Lara: "AAAHHH!!! NO! ABSOLUTELY NOT! This club is for females only!  
This is not some crossdressers club!!"  
  
Serio: "How rude!" ::fluffs his pink hair and places his hand on his  
hip like a stuck up valley girl::  
  
Milich: "Indeed! I have faarrr better taste than you people anyway!"  
::shows off his pink fur coat::  
  
Kuja: "OH Milich! Is that a new purse you got there!"  
  
Milich: "Indeed!"  
  
Freiza: "It's FAB-ulous!"  
  
Misato: "....GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!!!!" ::throws Serio, Milich, and  
Freiza out the window::  
  
Kuja: "I'll join yall for tea later! Bai bai!"   
  
Celine: "That was... scary..."  
  
A huge explosion in the bathroom.  
  
Misato: "That thing's been clogged for years... Don't mind it."  
  
No. 9 from Parasite Eve 2 steps out and points water gun: "Mwaha!   
Freeze!"  
  
Lara: "AHH! I surrender!" ::throws hands up as all these handguns,   
assault rifles, rocket launchers, magnum colts, shotguns and grenade  
launchers fall out her shirt::  
  
Celine: "Damnit! We're unevenly unmatched! We don't stand a chance!"  
  
No. 9: "Mwahaha! I've set up a bomb to blow up this place!"  
  
Misato: "GASP! My LOVELY clean apartment!" ::beer bottles, cans and cup  
noodle cups are everywhere::  
  
Lara: ::evil grin:: "Hee-hee. Now's my chance to escape as the others  
are blown to smithereens!"   
  
Lara pulls out a chopper from her shirt as the fashion club floods in.  
  
Lara: "HEEY!" ::climbs in as the chopper flies out through the tiny  
window::  
  
The whole building blows up and Rei unfortunately did not make it :D.  
  
Misato: "This WASN'T an accident... someone must have planned this   
out... hmm... but who?"  
  
Asuka: "Anta baka!? Maybe that stupid No. 9 guy duh!?"  
  
Misato: "But who programmed him to do it?"  
  
Lara is talking on the phone in the backroom: "Hee-hee! The plan was  
a success! Even though the others managed to escape I still managed  
to get rid of one of them!"  
  
Rei gets cloned and Rei 4 is born.  
  
Kuja: "Welcome back Rei! So nice to have you back!"  
  
Rei: ::naked:: ...  
  
Lara: "DAMNIT!"  
  
No. 9: "I think you've forgotten..."  
  
Lara: "WHAT!?"  
  
No. 9: "I was in that explosion too... ugh..." ::collapses and dies::  
  
Lara sneaks up on Celine and knocks her off the chopper.  
  
Celine: "AHH!!!!" ::lands in a pool of those really expensive  
lotions:: "Wow! My skin's so silky smooth now!"  
  
Lara: "GRRR!! Damnit!"  
  
Asuka: "Aye! Honestly Rei! Don't you do ANYTHING besides be naked!?  
C'mon! Do just ONE thing! ANYthing! Anything at all!!!"  
  
Rei: ::nude:: ...  
  
Asuka: "Aside from that!"  
  
Rei: ::unclothed:: ...  
  
Asuka: "Something else!"  
  
Rei: ::bare:: ...  
  
Asuka: "ARGH! I give up on this stupid wind up doll!"  
  
Lara: ::runs over to Kuja with a magazine:: "Look! The crossdressers  
delux store is having a clearance sale! Buy two thongs get the third  
one half off!"  
  
Kuja: "GAASSSPPP!!" ::squeals and immediately calls up his "gal" pals::  
  
Serio: "Oh wow! That sounds teerific!"  
  
Freiza: "WON-de-ful!"  
  
Milich: "Suuper!"  
  
Kuja, Serio, Freiza and Milich rush over there.  
  
Kuja: "Oh darn! They took all the extra extra small tight ones!"  
  
Lara: ::snicker:: "Hee-hee... that gets rid of one of them..."  
  
  
Day 23.  
Setting: Goth House  
  
Cassandra Goth (from The Sims): ::just came back from school and  
walks into the house::  
  
Bella: ::talks some Simlish crap:: "HREWUIOH43UV45IUGCIUG!!!"  
  
Cassandra: "J43UIREHUIVIUGWCIYWG3YIGX!!!"   
  
Bella goes to the kitchen to cook and starts a fire.  
  
Bella: "OOO! AAHHH!!" ::stands right infront of the fire like a   
stupid idiot::  
  
Cassandra: ::escapes the safety of the outdoors and runs right infront  
to the fire:: "OOO! AAHHH!"  
  
Cassandra and Bella wave their arms in the air therefore creating more  
oxygen in the air making the fire grow bigger.  
  
Cassandra just stands there as the flame goes onto her as she tries  
to brush it off: "AAAAIIEEEEE!!!"  
  
Bella: ::just stands there panicking as she's soon swallowed up by  
the flames also:: "AAAIIIEEEE!!!"  
  
Dearest Sympathy! Cassandra Goth has burned to death! MWAHAHAHAHAHA  
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA... Oh yea and that bitch Bella's gone  
too.  
  
Mortimer comes home and sees the kitchen filled with piles of ashes.  
Since his kitchen is burnt he eventually starves to death.  
  
Lara: ::sticks her head out of the trash:: "Exceelleeennttt!"  
  
Sara: "Hey! Watch were where you're putting those breasts! I can  
barely breathe in here!"  
  
Lara: "Shut up and keep sticking that-OOO! Yea..."  
  
  
Day 24.  
Setting: Hotel  
  
Celine: "AAAIIIEEE!!! This is terrible! Just look at how unpopular   
our club is becoming!"  
  
Kuja: ::curled up in a silk robe holding onto a pillow wiping his  
tearful eyes with tissues:: "Be quiet! I'm watching my soap opera!  
It's getting to the dramatic part! It's staring my best friend Serio!"  
  
Asuka: "Aye! See! Even SERIO gets to be on TV!!!"  
  
Kuja: "Well, naturally I'm jealous but I'm also happy for him! Sssh!  
Here comes the best part!"  
  
On the tv screen:  
  
Serio's dressed up as a housewife with a pink apron. His no good for  
nothing lazy bum of a husband sits infront of the couch getting  
drunk.  
  
Husband: ::talks in western accent:: "HoneH! Where's mAh dinna?!"  
  
Serio: "I can't take this anymore! I slave over a hot stove all day  
and this is the thanks I get!"  
  
Husband: "Ah shaddap!"  
  
Serio: "You never even take me out anymore! Remember how we used to  
go see the opera together!?"  
  
Baby: "WAAAHHH!!!"  
  
Serio runs over and picks up the baby: "There there little Serio   
junior."  
  
Baby: ::looks exactly like Serio only smaller with the same pink  
fluffy hair::  
  
Serio: "Well I've had it! I can't take it anymore! I was the most  
popular cheerleader in high school! I could've married a doctor or  
a lawyer not some unemployed loser like you!" ::throws baby onto  
the floor::  
  
Serio rips off the apron to reveal his leather skimpy, tight suit   
underneath. The cardboard background used for the house disappears  
and a gang of musclemen bikerboys drive in on motorcycles.  
  
Serio: "So long whatever your name is!" ::climbs on the bike seat  
of one of the motorcycles and drives off thru the sunset::  
  
Gold text: The End.  
  
Commercial break:  
  
Sara: "YYAAWWWWNNN!!!" ::pops out of the trash can she lives in and  
scratches her head::  
  
Weird lady: "Hello there! How do you feel?"  
  
Sara: "Huh!? Who the hell are you!? Get the hell out of my alley!"  
  
Lady: "Perfectly understandable but how does your teeth feel?"  
  
Sara: "What teeth?" ::opens mouth to show she has no teeth::  
  
Lady: "Fabulous! New orbit sugar free gum!"  
  
Celine: "What!? Even SARA ANDERSON gets to be in a commercial!?!? Now  
that just makes us look sooo bad!"  
  
Kuja: ::sniffle:: "That soap opera had such a sad ending."  
  
Asuka: "We have GOT to get ourselves on TV SOMEhow!!"  
  
The fashion club heads to Fox since they have all the bootleg   
wannabe anime stuff that gets dubbed using surfer dude/dumb blonde   
voices.   
  
  
Day 25.  
Setting: Stage  
  
French director: "Lights! Camera! Acshuun!"  
  
Kuja: ::wearing lingerie:: "Eeep! That scary lightning!"  
  
Sound effects person: ::bangs two plates against each other::  
  
Asuka: ::combing a cheap doll that has only three strands of hair::  
"Relax! Sailor Kuja! It's only rain!"  
  
Lara: ::wearing little nightgown:: "I bet Sailor Celine is at the mall  
with a BOOOY!"  
  
They giggle.  
  
Bra: "Tee-hee! Maybe a GIRRRL!"  
  
Nobody notices Bra is even there.  
  
Bra: "GODDAMNIT!!!"  
  
Celine: ::appears at the doorway wearing her shower curtain as a rain  
coat::  
  
Girls: "GASP! Sailor Celine!"  
  
Celine: ::pulls out doll missing a head and a leg:: "The NEGAVERSE is  
trying to drown the planet!"  
  
Girls: "The power of love and friendship!" ::holds up bootleg broken  
dolls::  
  
Cardboard background caves in on them.  
  
Girls: "GASP! Did we do that!?"  
  
Narrator: "SAILOR MOON! Each sold seperately."  
  
Asuka: "Oh well! At least we got to be on TV!"  
  
  
Day 26.  
Setting: Carnival  
  
Asuka: "Sigh... I don't get it. What kind of a retard would pick  
Misato over ME!? Kaji's probably been eating too much of Misato's  
cooking..."  
  
Asuka sees sign that reads:  
  
Velvet room!  
  
Get your fortunes told here for ANYTHING.  
  
Asuka: "Great idea!" ::rushes in::  
  
Igor from Persona 2: ::sits infront of table wearing a mexican dress  
with a rag over his head:: "Weeellcccooomme!"  
  
Asuka: "YOU tell fortunes!?"  
  
Igor: "Well I used to summon Persona but then I realized I couldn't  
go on doing that since I made no money from it and I DO have a family  
I need to support ya know?"  
  
Asuka: "Uh-huh..."  
  
Igor: "Now... teel me... the first thirty letters of your name!"  
  
Asuka: "Uh... A-S-U-K-A."  
  
Igor: ::concentrates and mumbles some gibberish:: "AH! Your name is...  
....ASUKA!"  
  
Asuka: "...GASP! Impressive! But can I trust your love fortunes...?"  
  
Igor: ::shovels a bunch of tarot cards:: "The cards never lie!"  
  
Asuka: ::picks up one of the cards:: "HIEROPHANT Umayado no Ouji.  
What does that mean?"  
  
Igor: ::shrugs:: "That'll be 400 dollars please!"  
  
Asuka: "GRRR!!!" ::storms back home and checks her mail:: "Eh? What's  
this?"  
  
y0uRe NeXt  
  
AnOnYmouS (Lara)  
  
Asuka: "Uh-huh..."  
  
Asuka walks into the house and turns on all the lights regardless of  
the fact it's daytime and it's extremely sunny outside.  
  
The phone rings.  
  
Asuka: ::jumps up from fear:: "GASP! No one has called me for years  
since I'm such a reject! Why would they call me now!?"  
  
Asuka cautiously approaches the phone, shivering and slowly picks up  
the phone.  
  
Asuka: "W-who's this!??!?! If this is Misato, then NO, I DO NOT WANT  
LESBIAN SEX YOU SICK FREAK!"  
  
Voice on the phone: "Do you like... porno movies?!"  
  
Asuka: ::narrows eyes:: "...What kind...?"  
  
Voice: "The ones with... SAFE SEX!!!"  
  
Asuka: "AAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!" ::drops phone::  
  
The lights suddenly go out.  
  
Asuka: "AAAHHHH!!!" ::starts running insanely in panic, tripping  
over every single piece of furniture in the house even tho the light  
from outside shines through the windows really brightly::  
  
Asuka: ::trips over a sofa and goes flying into the air and lands  
on the bed... dead!::  
  
A very masculine, muscleman steps into the room and talks in a very  
deep voice: "So how did you like my little seduction act...? Or do  
you prefer to do it with the lights on?"  
  
Man lifts up the pair of scissors that he used to cut the electric line  
with.  
  
Man: "...Asuka?"   
  
Man goes into the room to see Asuka on the bed: "Ah... so you're  
already all worked up, eh?"  
  
Man rips of mask to reveal an even more masculine face... MISATO!!  
  
Misato: ::starts singing:: "Don't get fooled by the cock that I got.  
I'm still Misato, Misato from the block. Used to have a little one  
but my manly genes made it grow a lot. No matter where it goes I never  
forget where I got it from... THE BRONX PLASTIC SURGEON HOSPITAL!  
I think it might have been donated by Kuja since it was so small at  
first."  
  
Asuka: ::sits up from bed:: "AHHH!! NO! I'M NOT DEAD!!"  
  
Misato: "No, duh! I don't have sex with dead bo-... well, not that  
often anyway... now come here you sexy thing~!"  
  
Asuka: "AAAHHH!!!!!"  
  
-----------  
  
"Misato! Misato!"  
  
Misato: "Huh? What!?"  
  
Kaji: "Um... you fell asleep while we were doing it... it seems you  
had a really nice dream... coz you orgasmed more than when we were  
doing it... and you moaned a lot louder..."  
  
Misato: "Oh I had this wonderful dream! About... er... YOU... Yes.  
See, I made this prank call to you and then I cut the electric line  
and then you started running around, tripping over stuff... And oh my  
god! You looked so sexy in that school girl uniform!"  
  
Kaji: "You wanna see me in a schoolgirl uniform!? Why didn't you  
say so!?" ::runs to closet::  
  
Misato: "Er... yea... right..." ::sneaks out and heads over to Nerv  
Headquarters::  
  
Misato: "I must confess my love to Asuka!"  
  
  
Setting: Nerv HQ  
  
Coincidentally, Lara headed to Nerv HQ in search of Asuka as well.  
  
Lara: ::standing in elevator, polishing her gun with lube:: "Heehee...  
I failed to kill Rei but I won't fail at killing Asuka!"  
  
Lara begins to breathe heavily: "Shit! I'm SOOO horny! I'm about to  
fuck ANYTHING right about now!"  
  
All of a sudden the elevator stops and in steps SARA ANDERSON.  
  
Lara: "AAAHH!!" ::runs all the way into the corner::  
  
The elevator gets stuck.  
  
Lara: "AAAHHHHH!!" ::starts ramming head against wall, hoping to   
die.::  
  
Elsewhere...  
  
  
Setting: Asuka's house  
  
The REAL Asuka just got into her house.  
  
The phone rings and Asuka picks it up.  
  
Hikari: "HI!!! It's me Hikari!!"  
  
Asuka: "Hi Hikari! What cha been doing?"  
  
Hikari: "NOTHING! I've been so bored I started playing connect the  
dots with my face!"  
  
Asuka: "Well come on over! They're about to show the world premiere  
of the commercial I was in!"  
  
Hikari comes over and they both sit in front on the couch.  
  
Asuka turns on the TV: "Damnit! It's not on yet! Oh well... let's  
just wait a while."  
  
TV:  
  
Commercial dude: "Buy the new Avril Lavigne CD coz 'lyk yew kno shez  
lyk seeeeeeww punx RAWK!!' "  
  
Commercial dude puts his head down and snickers as his shoulders start  
shaking: "Hehehe... hehe... GWAHAHA!! Punk rock my ass!"  
  
  
  
Asuka: "Boring!" ::changes channel::  
  
TV narrator: "We are about to show the world premiere of the trailer  
for the newly, long awaited movie... Resident Evil!"  
  
Hikari: "I heard that movie's scary enough to make you pee in your  
suspenders!"  
  
Tv narrator: "Remember, this trailer contains NEVER BEFORE SEEN  
footage!"  
  
Asuka: "No duh!"  
  
TV:  
  
Dumb blonde valley cheerleader Girl walks into a room lit with disco   
lights.  
  
The phone rings.  
  
Girl gasps and cautiously picks up: "H-H-hello...??"  
  
Whispering Voice: "Is your refridgerator running...?"  
  
Girl: "Y-yes..."  
  
Whispering Voice: "...Then go catch it! Bwahaha!"  
  
Girl: "AAAAHHHHHH!!!!"  
  
Girl starts running and tripping over furniture. (Sound familiar?)  
  
A man steps out of the room with an old bedsheet over his head and two  
eyeholes cut with cheap scissors: "Boo!"  
  
Girl: "AAAAAHHHH!!!" ::turns and runs into a wall::  
  
The man walks over to her and holds up a stick with a string attached  
to it. At the end of the string, he tied an edible creepy crawlers  
bug.  
  
Girl: "AHHH! AHHH! AAAHH!! AIIIEEE!!!" ::scrambles back onto her feet  
and runs into the same wall again, getting knocked unconscious::  
  
The door opens and in steps her dumb blonde, surferdude boyfriend,  
wearing a tie-dye t-shirt with sandals.  
  
Surfer: "Like Wwweeerrd! Dude! Hey Jill, like are yaH in here?"  
  
Boyfriend looks around: "Like woooah! Dude! Creepy Crawlers! NARLY!"  
  
Boyfriend leaps for the bowl of creepy crawlers and begins stuffing  
his mouth with them: "AWESOME!"  
  
  
  
Asuka: "That was... SO INCREDIBLY STUPID!!! ...Hikari? Hey, Hikari?"  
  
Asuka looks behind the couch to see Hikari's corpse sprawled  
out. Her skin completely white except for the black dots on her face  
and her eyes are stretched out widely. A puddle next to her.  
  
Asuka: "Ewww! You dirtied my floor!"  
  
  
  
Father on the TV walks into his little daughter's EXTREMELY girly  
room with dolls and pink sheets everywhere.  
  
His daughter is an extremely ugly, round girl with plump cheeks that  
overlap her mouth making her lips stick out. She's wearing a pink  
dress with a flowery apron. She has brown hair tied into two ponytails,  
one sticking out from each end of her head and her brown bangs reach  
her eyes.  
  
Father: ::takes a seat on the pink, fluffy bed:: "Honey, what have you  
been upto lately?"  
  
Girl: "Oh nothing much. Just sniffing crack, pot, cocaine, every kind  
of drug you can think of. Robbing banks, murdering millions of people.  
Fucking with every guy/girl/animal/object I've seen."  
  
Father: "Thank you sweetie. That's all I wanted to know."  
  
Girl: "Fuck you!"  
  
Narrator: "Talk to your kids. Be aware of what they're upto."  
  
Girl's head appears in the corner of the screen and she's straining  
her face: "Fuck you!"  
  
TV narrator: "And now we return to our original program. News 24/7!"  
  
News guy: "Iowans, Sara Anderson and Jessica Finer have vowed to file  
a twenty hundred billion lawsuit against the public school.  
  
It seems that on halloween, the security guard refused to let the  
two into the building because he thought they were wearing extremely  
frightening halloween masks... which was really their actual faces.  
  
Jessica and Sara described the event as being 'deprived from their  
edjumacation' which is why they are sueing the school for twenty  
billion dollars. Unfortunately, they are both too stupid and too poor  
to know how."  
  
News girl: ::crawls out from underneath the desk all hot and sweaty::  
  
News guy: "Good job. Good job." ::pats her on the head::  
  
News girl: ::straightens herself up and pulls out some papers::   
"Yesterday, Lara Croft, the famous, big breasted tombraider has once  
again been declared the sluttiest creature of the year for the 7438th  
year in a row.   
  
Many of us should be well aware by now that she be fucking so much  
her blood type is cum."  
  
News guy: "Yep... she was pretty good."  
  
News girl: "Yea, I think we've all had her already. What about you  
camera crew, you had her too right?"  
  
Camera crew: "Of course!"  
  
News guy: "So anyway. Today it seems that Fox 5 was supposed to show   
the world premiere of the brand new Sailor Moon dolls commercial.  
  
However, it seems that the premiere has been canceled due to the fact  
that the producer accidently overtaped it while watching Teletubbies  
porno. So instead, we'll show you the Teletubbies porno!"  
  
  
  
Asuka: "WHAT!!!? THIS IS AN OUTRAGE!! I'm marching straight to that  
studio right now and sueing!"  
  
Hikari: ::sits up:: "Teletubbies porno!? WHERE!?"  
  
Elsewhere...  
  
  
Setting: Komi's house  
  
Komi (from Sakura Diaries): "Oh big sister Mei lin! Tell me a bedtime  
story!"  
  
Mei lin (from CardCaptor Sakura): "Sure thing!" ::takes out book::  
  
"Curious George goes to the gay club.  
  
One day the man with the yellow hat whose name George is obviously  
too stupid to learn wanted to take George to the gay club.  
  
So they got into their little cheap, blue car and drove away.  
  
'Yo! Man with yellow hat! Over here!' cried a big man at the club.  
  
'I'll be right back George. Talk to whoever you want but... don't get  
into trouble!'  
  
George watched as he saw the man with the yellow hat playing with  
twelve other big men. Could he do that? George was curious...  
  
So George got gang banged by the men and everyone was happy. The man  
who was now wearing nothing but the yellow hat patted George on the  
back,"I was jealous at you at first but... you sure made up for it  
with that good head!"  
  
After that, George was never curious again. The End."   
  
Komi: "zzZzzZz" ::asleep and having wet dreams of Mashu::  
  
The phone rings and Mei lin picks up: "Hello?"  
  
Misato: ::breathing heavily and panicking:: "Please Mei lin you've got  
to help me!"  
  
Mei lin: "Misato? What's the matter, man?"  
  
Misato: "She's trying to kill me!"  
  
Mei lin: "Who?"  
  
Misato: "Lara! She's gone insane! And we're trapped in an elevator  
together!"  
  
Mei lin: "Mmm..." ::licks lips and starts fantasizing::  
  
Other side of the line:  
  
Lara is approaching Misato with a chainsaw.  
  
Misato: "AHH!" ::runs into the other corner::  
  
Lara: "Hmm?" ::looks around dumbfoundedly:: "Where'd she go?"  
  
Misato: "Please! You have to save me! Mei lin? Mei lin!?"  
  
Mei lin: ::too busy drooling to hear::  
  
Misato: "MEI LIN! MEI LIN! AHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
  
Setting: Asuka's block  
  
Asuka: ::bumps into Celine:: "Hey! Watch it!"  
  
Celine: "Asuka darling! Did you see the news!?"  
  
Asuka: "Yea! How dare they cancel our commercial!"  
  
Celine: "I'm not talking about that! I'm talking about the Teletubbies  
porno! That was some great stuff!"  
  
Brahne appears down the street with a paper bag over her head and  
a huge smiley face drawn on it.  
  
Celine: "Ah!! It's Brahne!!"  
  
Asuka: "Oh thank goodness you decided to cover your ugly face!"  
  
Brahne: "Mwahaha... I am not Brahne... I-VOICESVOICESVOICESVOICES-  
am really-VOICESVOICESVOICESVOICESVOICESVOICESVOICESVOICES- No! But  
seriously-VOICESVOICESVOICESVOICES- I am... J-VOICESVOICESVOICESVOICES  
AH-HEM! I am... JOKER BRAHNE!!!! MWAHAHA-VOICESVOICESVOICESVOICES  
VOICESVOICESVOICESVOICESVOICESVOICESVOICESVOICES!!!!!!!!!"  
  
Brahne rips off paperbag to reveal she has no face but just her big  
ugly mouth.  
  
Asuka: "Oh thank the lord her horrible face is gone!"  
  
Celine: "But her mouth still remains! Let's run!"  
  
Joker Brahne: "Oh no you-VOICESVOICESVOICESVOICES-don't! OLD MAID!"  
  
Joker Brahne throws playing cards at Celine and Asuka.  
  
Celine and Asuka: "..."  
  
Joker Brahne: "Oh-VOICESVOICESVOICESVOICES- darn..."  
  
Celine and Asuka run to the Fox 5 studio.  
  
Celine: "Whew... I think we lost her!"  
  
Asuka: ::grabs producer by the collar:: "What about our commercial!?"  
  
Producer: "Now, now. You just want to be on Tv right?"  
  
Asuka: "Yes!"  
  
Producer: "So you can star as Tinky-Winky and Dipsy in our new   
Teletubbies porno movie!"  
  
Celine: "Hooray! I wanna be Tinky-Winky! So I can get a nice new   
purse!"  
  
Asuka: ::punches Celine:: "Moron! No way!"  
  
Producer: "Ok, ok... then I can get your stupid club on a debate  
show."  
  
Asuka: "Really!?"  
  
Producer: "Yes, tomorrow come with your stupid little group."  
  
  
Day 27.  
Setting: Set of the debate show  
  
Host: "Welcome everybody to the 'I hate yo mutha!' debate show where  
we do nothing but try to diss on each other! And our contestants   
are... the Final Fantasy ten group versus the Fashion Club!"  
  
Audience: "What the hell is the fashion club?"  
  
Celine: "Hey, where's Kuja?"  
  
Lara: "Still picking out thongs."  
  
Celine: "Where's Misato?"  
  
Lara: ::innocent face:: "I don't know."  
  
Celine: "Where the HECK is Bra??"  
  
Lara: ::confused look:: "Er... lemme check..." ::rummages through  
shirt:: "Nope... not here! I really DON'T know!"  
  
Bra: "I'm right here!!" ::waves arms:: "HEllloooo!?"  
  
Wakka: "Now remember team ya. What's our goal? Ya?"  
  
FFX people: "To try our best!"  
  
Wakka: "Ya ya! Like ya! Look over here. Ya stupid fashion club!"  
  
Asuka: "What did you say!?"  
  
Wakka: "I said ya stupid, ya ASS-SUH-KA!"  
  
Asuka: "Baka Wakka!! And what is up with Tee-dus and his hood that  
looks like a used condom!?"  
  
Celine: "Yea! That wobbly chocobo in the racing game has the   
intelligence of Tidus himself!"  
  
Tidus: "Groovy!"  
  
Celine: "Here's FFX summed up!" ::unveils scroll::  
  
Rikku: "Yunie's gunna die!! ;.;!!"  
Tidus: "o_o............ -long time later- ............. O_O!!!!!"  
Tidus goes mad and runs into a wall, knocking himself out.  
Tidus: "@_@..... x_X."  
Everyone: "-_-;;;;;;"  
Meanwhile, as all this is happening Yuna gets married to Seymour butz   
and makes tons of little kuja clones coz stupid Tidus didn't show up   
on skates soon enough to save her.  
Yuna: "^__^ Oh thank god I'm not gunna be stuck with that IDIOT Tidus   
who tried to rape me in the spring coz I was too busy crying to defend   
myself... but that isn't supposed to happen til AFTER this part! ^_^;."  
  
Tidus: "Woaahh... Yunie's gunna die? Like, who's Yunie...? Woahh...  
awesome summary dudette!"  
  
Crowd: "Booo!"  
  
Host: "It seems the spectators are booing! They are not amused! They  
want some real violence and action! Will anyone in the audience like  
to volunteer to spice things up a bit?"  
  
Anko (from GTO): ::stands up:: "I WILL!"  
  
Asuka: "ACK! It's that stupid bitch that's always trying to copy me!"  
  
Anko: "You copied ME!!"  
  
Celine: "Oh my goodness! It's like looking at twins!"  
  
Anko and Asuka: "WE DO NOT LOOK ALIKE!"  
  
Anko and Asuka dive into each other and start punching and kicking  
each other insanely.  
  
Celine: "Oh don't worry Asuka! I'll help you!" ::swings huge sledge  
hammer at Anko's head::  
  
Asuka: "OWW! You stupid bitch! It's ME!!"  
  
Celine: "Oh I'm so sorry! I couldn't tell!"  
  
Rei: ::naked:: ...  
  
Anko: ::strips Asuka down to her undies and starts taking photos::  
  
Asuka: "AAHH! Give me that film!!!"  
  
Asuka and Anko continue pulling at each other's red hair.  
  
Anko: "I got you-OW! I got you-OW! This-OW! TIME! OOOWWW!!!"  
  
Asuka: ... ::stands there watching Anko yanking her own hair::   
"Dumbass..."  
  
Celine: "Don't worry Asuka! I'll help you!" ::swings sledgehammer  
again::  
  
Asuka: "AHHHH!! YOU DUMB BITCH!! WOULD YOU STOP HITTING ME!!!??"  
  
Celine: "Oh I'm so sorry darling!"  
  
Asuka: ::grabs sledgehammer and begans chasing Celine around with it::  
  
Door suddenly slam open as everyone turns around.   
  
Person: "Hold up!"  
  
Asuka: "Oh my god..."  
  
Celine: "It's..."  
  
Bra: "Damn, that's gay."  
  
Kuja stands in the doorway looking all cool like with the wind blowing  
his sliver, curly hair. He has a new outfit consisting of black leather  
high heel suede boots, a black leather bikini top, a black leather  
dress that's slit down the middle and an EXTREMELY glittery, shiny  
and bright golden new thong.  
  
Asuka: "Oooo... So shiny!"  
  
Celine: "Ack! I'm going blind!"  
  
Kuja: "How dare you all go on TV without telling me... how could you!?"  
  
Kuja takes out a pink silk handkerchief and blows his nose with it  
sniffling.  
  
Audience: "Awww..."  
  
Kuja: ::sniffling:: "It's just... TOO CRUEL!"  
  
Oprah Winfrey steps out from the audience and takes Kuja's hand: "There  
there... I know how you feel. Now... can you tell me how has life been  
for you with them?" ::holds microphone over Kuja's mouth::  
  
Kuja: "Horrible! They treated me like I was... different!"   
  
Audience: "Aww..."  
  
Asuka: "Oh shut up... He is different! He's a guy for godsake!"  
  
Kuja: "SEE! See the horrible names and labels I get!"  
  
Oprah: "Yes... yes I understand... Now let's get a really dramatic  
face onto the camera so I can get even higher ratings and get even  
more money since I'm a greedy little bitch that pretends to   
understand."  
  
Kuja: ::makes sad puppy dog face infront of the camera::  
  
Audience: "Aww..."  
  
Oprah: "Fabulous! And may I add that you never looked gayer."  
  
Kuja: "Why, thank you!"  
  
Happousai zooms through the room stealing everyone's lingerie.  
  
Kuja: "AAAHHH!! Not my brand new thong!! Someone stop him!!!"  
  
The Bebop gang steps out from the Audience and chases after him.  
  
Spike: "Hurry! There's a two dollar bounty on that guy! So I can   
finally use the money to get a haircut!"  
  
Jecht: "I'm glad I never have that problem..."  
  
Faye: "And I could sure use a bra!" ::whispers to self:: "I also  
wouldn't mind having that golden thong he just stole from Kuja... AH  
SHIT! I'm getting another wedgy!"  
  
Spike: "Hey, where's Ed?"  
  
They run back to their seats to find Ed all shriveled up and sprawled  
onto floor.  
  
Ed: "Can't... move... starving... need food..."  
  
Faye: "Come to think of it... we haven't had any food in months since  
we're so poor!"  
  
Ject: "Yea and Ed should be especially starving since she's so damn  
hyper."  
  
Bebop gang: "..." ::they all fall to the floor from hunger::  
  
Spike: "I never got a haircut..."  
  
Faye: "I never got a bra..."  
  
Jecht: "I never got some pussy from Faye..."  
  
Faye: ::leans over and slaps Jecht::  
  
Ein: ::runs over to them and howls at the moon in despair:: "Owoooo!"  
  
Jecht: "Ein... promise me... one thing... before I die..."  
  
Ein: ::nodds::  
  
Jecht: "Please... take care... of my beloved bonsai trees..." ::dies::  
  
Ein: ::takes a piss on him::  
  
Julius (from Cowboy bebop): "Ah my gawd! Kuja!? Is that really you!?"  
  
Kuja: "Julius... from Crossdressers High school!?"  
  
Julius: "It's sooo good to see you!"  
  
Kuja: "How's work been lately?"  
  
Julius: "Oh... ever since I picked up AIDS from Vicious, I haven't had  
anymore customers..."  
  
Kuja: "Oh what a pity..."  
  
Lara: "Urge... to kill... rising..."  
  
Bra: "Hey... Lara? You ok?"  
  
Lara: "ROOOAARRR!!!" ::eyes turn completely red and she grows a huge  
pair of claws and fangs, two machine guns pop out of her shirt as  
she begins firing everywhere::  
  
Crowd: "AAHHH!!!"  
  
Everyone begins scurrying out of the building in panic.  
  
The fashion club members meet up at the exit.  
  
Kuja: "What's going on!? What happened to Lara!?"  
  
Celine: "I don't care! But I'm out! I quit this stupid excuse for  
a club!"  
  
Kuja: "Yea! Me too!"  
  
Asuka: "Wait you guys! How can we possibly have a club with only me  
and Rei in it!?" ::looks around:: "Where's Rei?"  
  
Celine: "It seems she has run away as well and I suggest you do the  
same if you want to live!"  
  
Kuja and Celine run off.  
  
Asuka: "Wait you guys! How could you!?"  
  
Bra: ::waves hand:: "I'm still here!"  
  
Asuka: ::sigh:: "I guess I'm on my own..."  
  
Asuka turns towards the setting sun: "They've taken everything away  
from me... but I won't give up... they won't stop my last escape!"  
  
Bra: "Heellloooo?"  
  
Oh no! The fashion club has split up and the entire world is in panic  
due to the mad-ness of Lara! Will her evil reign ever stop!?  
  
Celine: ::running across the street waving her arms in the air::  
"Aaaiiieee!"  
  
Celine gets run over by an ambulance.  
  
Girl in the ambulance: "Hurry up! My implants just popped! This is  
like a big emergency!"  
  
  
To Be Continued. 


End file.
